Brent Ashley Ella and Scarlet

Don't Look At Me....I'm Hideous!!

2012-02-15T18:00:00.000-08:00

After both of my children my hair has fallen out. And I go BALD. See all those little sprouts? Picture that completely hairless!! It looks so bad!!

This disgusting disfigurement is from having a wart removed. It sprung up around Thanksgiving and grew to the size of a pencil eraser. I associate warts with dirty, unhygienic people so I was horrified of its presence! I'm happy it's gone but what a hole!!

I have to wear tall socks when I go running now, so the back of the shoe doesn't rub on my gaping wound. I usually wear very tight athletic/ compression socks to support my flat feet. The regular socks rubbed a giant blister on my instep. I covered it with bandages and it healed nicely. Well, I ran out of the nice, extra sticky band aids and used a couple small ones and some athletic tape. Wrong choice. This mother huuuuurts so bad. It burns. As I was headed toward home this morning my foot felt like it was on fire and I knew what was waiting inside my sock when I got home!

Note* Does anyone know where my title came from?

Pre School!!!

2012-02-09T15:08:00.000-08:00

Ella started preschool on Tuesday. I'm a bad mother and did not get a picture of her on that day. So we took one today!! Ella LOVES preschool. She asks to go every morning, and on the days she gets to, she is super excited all morning long.

I admit, last fall I was nervous to send her. She was behaving shy around kids she didn't know and always wanted to stick to my side. When January rolled around I took her to Sunbeams and she loved it!! She HATED nursery. Ella thrives on structure and 22 kids who come regularly to Logandale 5th ward, all crammed into one tiny room, mostly boys, was not her cup of tea!! She liked sunbeams so much I enrolled her in preschool. She is gone 2 hours a day, two days a week. I am so happy for her!! She is expanding her boundaries and enjoying herself and LEARNING!! I also have 2 hours to try to get as much done as fast as I can with out "help"! Ella is a wonderful helper, but dishes take twice as long when she assists!

The Cynical Observations of My Own Inadequacies

2012-02-04T15:13:00.000-08:00

I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. This is a religion I love. I believe with
all my heart in its principles and teachings. The gospel itself has never made me feel inadequate, or self-conscious. The church itself is perfect and ordained of God. It is the members that I am going to mock!! Good naturally, of course.
If you are a Mormon woman, these are the pressures you may face amongst your peers!!
Wake up for 5 am scripture study. With a delighted smile on your face of course!
Make a nutritious breakfast for all 7 of your children.
Happily send said children to school to excel in all areas, because you spend hours a day pouring
over their homework with them to make sure they are up to speed.
Clean your house spotless. Using the all-natural cleansers you made yourself.
Bake a homemade birthday cake for little Billy. Don’t you DARE use a box!! Shame!! That thing
better be from scratch. Bake it while wearing the designer apron you handmade yourself. You also made 15 others to give out as Christmas gifts last year.
Frost the cake with frosting, also from scratch. Heck!! You dyed it blue with
the blueberries from your garden!!
Run around 5 miles to keep your body fit and your mind sharp. Besides, that marathon you’re running for charity is right around the corner!!
Go to the school for room mother duties. Billy’s class loved the cake!! How could they not? It was 4 tiers and in the shape in a truck, wasn’t it!!
Begin preparations for a gourmet dinner. With the vegetables you raise in your garden, and the organic meat you won in the Boy Scout raffle.
Feed your family on an immaculate table with the placemats you loomed yourself. From the yarn you spun yourself. From your very own sheep.
Plan a flawless family home evening complete with an inspiring message that made every one of your children thank you for being such a great mom. They are off the bed pondering
the deep meanings of your lesson.
Finish up the marching band uniforms you offered to custom sew. All 50 are all finished!!
Slip into bed next toyour husband who could pass as a Calvin Klein model. He can plumb your house, fix your electricity, tune up the car and mow the yard all in one day. He’s also 1st counselor in the Stake Young Men’s. But it’s ok he’s never home to help with children because that’s YOUR job anyway!!
Kiss him goodnight as the sign above your bed instructs. Smile lovingly and tell him your big news. Yep!! We’re pregnant again!! Number 8!! He’s delighted that you are procreating
the Earth!!
Better get to sleep now. 5 am comes soon. But first feel a euphoric rush of completion of how
PERFECT your life is and how your children complete you and even when they are screaming, you recognize it as a lesson to be learned. Because they were sentJUST TO YOU and they are special spirits!!
Contented sigh…….

Why He's Awesome

2012-01-21T14:09:00.001-08:00

I have to praise my dear spouse today. I deep clean my home twice a year. In January and in September. Obviously I clean it on a regular basis. But twice a year I pull out appliances, scrub base boards, organize closets, and all those other icky things we don't look forward to....well most of us. :)

Let me tell you, a good man doesn't mind laying on the counter, so he can hang upside down to sweep all the disgusting refuge from behind the stove!! The cord is short, so unless we unplug it, this is as far as it comes out!!

So today I praise Brent. Thank you, my love, for helping me with all the nasty jobs!! You are awesome. I think I'll keep you!!

Happy Birthday!!

2012-01-17T16:39:00.000-08:00

One year ago today, Molly the cat joined our family. She has been a great furry friend and we love her very much.

Molly enjoys,

*Playing with mice, but not eating them.

*Sleeping on my dirty clothes. (See above picture)

*Sleeping

*Eating

*Spends her day avoiding Ella and trying to escape her clutches. She is not always successful.

*Doesn't bother Scarlet at all. LOVE this.

We are so happy to have this raggedy cat. She is obese and mostly worthless, but we love her!!

Child Updates!!

2012-01-11T16:34:00.000-08:00

I took both girls for check ups today. It was Scarlet's 4 month (3 weeks late) and Ella hadn't been to the doctor in a year, so I though it was prudent to check her growth.

Ella was 63% for height and 52% for weight. When I heard this I nearly cheered out loud!! She has never been higher than the 25% and we even had to start her on Pediasure at 15 months because she dropped into the negative percentile.

Ella also:

*Is too smart for her own good

*Knows her ABC's but I can never get her to perform!

*Can count to 20

*Knows all her shapes and colors. She even corrects me when I am not entirely accurate. Like when I called a hexagon an octagon. What was I thinking!?

*Loves to draw, mostly kitty cats

*Will NOT eat sweets. She does love chocolate, just not any sugary stuff.

*Her favorite food is salad with carrots or MEAT!

*She loves Sunbeams and will start preschool in February

*Loves the water and is heartbroken it isn't summer.

*Loves outside

*Loves her Uncles. We smell boy trouble!!

*We did the height projection and she is estimated to be 5'4.

Scarlet is between the 5%-10% in both height and weight. This is awesome because she was a preemie and I worried I would be buying Pediasure in bulk again. For those of you who don't know, that shiz is expensive!

Scarlet also:

*Still wears 0-3 months clothes. But regardless I am putting her in 3-6 at 5 months because I am bored with her clothes!! I'm just saving a few of the really cute ones and moving on!!

*Wears a size 2 diaper that is roomy. But size 1 wasn't cutting it!

*Is behind developmentally. While her peers are learning to sit up and laugh she is still is the area an almost 3 month old would be instead of an almost 5 month. It makes her young for soooooo long. Great if you like the newborn stage. Not so great if it is hard for you. I.E. ME!!

*Smiles wonderfully!!

*Has been sleeping great for me. Way (way, way, way) better than Ella ever did. She gets up once and a few weeks ago she even slept through the night for 2 weeks in a row. Not sure what made her decide to stop doing that. Hopefully she decides it's a good idea again!! Not complaining though, getting up once is a triumphant blessing for me!!

*Likes to nibble the edge of her blanket to fall asleep. Not suck on it, nibble.

*Doesn't like pacifiers. I'm getting ready to stop trying to get her to take it. Why? One less thing to worry about!!

*Like to clutch a blanket in her hand when she's playing.

*She doesn't do much else. Like I said, she behind developmentally so it will take some time to get to where she should be. We're not really worried about it!! She'll get there on her own time!!

And yet, more conversations....

2012-01-05T09:13:00.000-08:00

Conversation #1

Ella: Mommy can we have a brother?

Me: What? A brother? (obviously some alarm)

Ella: Scarlet is just so loud! Maybe a brother will be quiet.

Conversation #2

Ella: Molly scratched me!!

Me: Were you bothering her?

Ella: Yes. I was rubbing her fur the wrong way.

Me: She doesn't like that. If you stop doing it she won't scratch you.

Ella: But I like to bug her.

Conversation #3

Me: What would you like for breakfast this morning?

Ella: Cheeze its!!

Me: Oh, I don't think that's breakfast food.

Ella: Meat!!

Me: How about pancakes?

Ella: Sigh. Ok.

Conversation #4

Ella: I don't want to play with "child X"* anymore.

Me: Why not sweetie, she's your friend?

Ella: She's mean.

Me: Now Ella, it's not nice to say people are mean.

Ella: It's not mean if it's true.

Me: It still is something you only tell mommy.

Ella: But she should know!!

Conversation #5

Ella: Molly, you're fat. You need to go on a diet.

Molly: Indignant glare

Ella: But you still have pretty fur, and you're my friend and I love you!!

Ella is VERY honest!! I'm worried what she is going to reveal about our family one of these days!!

*Name with held to protect the not so innocent!!

And So It Begins....

2011-12-31T17:18:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the first day of a brand new year. 2011 was a rocky year and 2010 just flat out sucked. So I am hoping this year will be great!!

In 2011 we:

*Had a very difficult pregnancy

*Had a darling little girl in a very dramatic fashion.

*She is now the most expensive thing we own!! Sunrise Hospital ain't cheap!!

* Said good bye to Nick and Bonnie. They are serving in the Denmark mission.

* Welcomed 3 new nieces into our family. Apparently Bowler's can not make boy offspring!!

Tomorrow starts the beginning of a list of goals I have for myself.

* Losing weight

* Finding more time for Ella and Brent

* Making time for myself

* Send Birthday cards to all my family members. This may be difficult as I don't even know when some of my in laws are!!

* One of my greater ambitions is to finally get the yard I've been campaigning for!! I have been on Brent's case for 2 1/2 years for a yard and I'm getting one this year if I have to kick him out to make a point!!

Yay for 2012!! A brand new year!!

Merry Christmas!!

2011-12-28T16:17:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Christmas at the Bowler house hold! Santa was generous. We had Uncle Jeff with us for Christmas morning. It is so fun to have family here. My in laws are out of the country and I wanted to make sure he wasn't left out. He is such a sweetie if there are any single ladies looking! ;)

Ella's giant barbie house from Grandma. She is so excited!

The coveted Princess Tiana. Ella has been asking for her since she first saw her at Costco back in October.

Tiana's new cradle. This also serve Boots and Black Kitty.

A few of my goodies. Ella accidentally broke my string of pearls so Brent replaced them with a new and improved version. It even includes a bracelet and a ring. Gorgeous! The cutest watch ever, diamond studs, my new beautiful running shoes and a pair of the work out capris he got me. If you see that tiny black square by the studs, that is the new Ipod nano. It is made for runners. In the back in my new blow dryer. You may think this isn't a gift type item, but when you buy professional like I do, it makes me feel better to spend so much on a "gift" not just a regular every day thing. I love leopard skin. I have loved it before it was popular and was even considered a little tacky. :) I got a bunch of other awesome stuff, including beautiful new flatware, very sharp chef's knives and a Kindle. Which I LOVE.

Molly even got a cat stocking full of toys and cat nip. She loved her mouse....full of cat nip. She was as high as a kite for hours!

Ella and the Elmo puzzle.

Christmas dinner. The dynamic duo.

Chelsey hiding behind Elise.

We had so much fun! We now have a bunch of new toys and play things to last us a while. Ella has toy over load and a few new out fits to wear. I love Christmas, but I'm excited for a new year. January 1st brings the a fore mentioned diet, organization and serious cleaning. If any of you know me well, you will know that is like Christmas all over again!!

Cuz There's Nothin' Else To Do

2011-12-19T17:20:00.000-08:00

I am so excited that Christmas is coming!! I love Christmas!! I am that anal person who gives out goodies the first weekend of December and has her cards shipped at a reasonable time. Now don't give me any credit, I just have a compulsive personality that requires I do this or I might die!! I also organize my cleaning spray alphabetically and make sure the nozzle points in the same direction. It's a sickness!!

My tree is bursting with wrapped presents. I'm not a 'what ever paper I can find-labeled with a sharpie' kind of girl. I like ribbons and bows and tags that coincide with the paper. Ex: Santa paper-Santa tag. Tree paper- tree tag. Like I said, it's a sickness!!

I am so excited but at the same time I hope Christmas never comes, because when Christmas is over the New Year comes. And when the New Year comes, so comes dieting....dum dum DUMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

When I was pregnant with Ella I gained 43 pounds and lost 30 in the hospital. Can you say water retention!!

When I was pregnant with Scarlet I gained 48. Whoops. Bad news? I only lost 18 in the hospital!! What the hell!? Both summer babies. Retained water with both. What the heck happened!! SO now I face the daunting task of shedding 30 pounds!! I know I can do it. I want to do it. But the task is daunting!! I told Brent I wasn't even going to try until January 1st, way back before she was even born!! I could have started earlier...but I didn't want to. I have been eating all the Christmas goodies I want, avoiding the scale, and gearing myself up for what is ahead. I'm also hoping Santa brings me the running shoes I want and some work out clothes. It's pretty bad when I need to lose weight to fit into my gym shorts!! But oh well!! Maybe next time I have a child (in-5-years-no-I'm-not-kidding) I will not establish a no cookie left behind policy!! Whoops again.

It's someone birthday!!

2011-12-17T08:58:00.000-08:00

There is a person I owe my life to. I routinely take her for granted. She is many things.

A nurse practitioner

General surgeon

Diagnostician

Nutritionist

Therapist

Cook

Maid

Laundress

Referee

Firefighter

Gardener

Creator

Designer

Artist

Carpenter

Animal wrangler

Painter

Caregiver

Security guard

Inventor

Tailor

My biggest fan

My closest friend

My mom

Happy Birthday Mom!! We don't know how we'd live with out you!!

(Wish I had a picture. But if you think I avoid the camera, this woman is a master!!)

A Fun Day

2011-12-14T13:39:00.001-08:00

We found this singing puppy up in the closet. He was a gift from a few years back and I put him up and forgot about him!! He sings and Ella loves to dance and sing with him. Hours of fun!!

We went to the park with our favorite cousins today. Here is Scarlet and Elise, who I like to call, Eliseeeeeeeeeeeee! These two were born exactly one week apart. Doesn't it look like Elise is saying, "Ta-dah!!" Such a cutie!!

A smile!! Scarlet has been smile a lot lately and it is wonderful. Nothing is happier than a smiley baby. It is fun to hear all the weird voices Brent uses to get her to smile for him, and then the cheer of delight when she does!!

Today I am....

2011-12-08T17:08:00.000-08:00

Happy. I do not characterize myself as a happy person. I think I am genetically inclined from one side of my family to be perpetually ornery and from the other side border line psychotic. I try to keep an even balance between the two.

Scarlet has been doing very well with sleeping better. I am so deeply grateful. If this was ancient Israel, I would be sacrificing my goat. I won't go into detail. I know how it feels to read blog after blog about how just perfect some one's child is and feel badly that mine won't conform to the normal rules. I would just like to publicly say, I am so grateful she is doing better.

We went to the park today and played with family and friends. Wonderful girls (and guys, thanks Jeff for keeping Brent company!) were there to talk to. Ella ran around happily and dug in the sand.

We went to the library and Ella found a book shaped like a heart. She was so excited.

We got our new head bands in the mail and 2 Christmas cards. I realized I hadn't ordered mine yet and rushed home to order them from Costco. (I.E. I'll be cutting it close this year!)

We ate dinner. Molly proudly brought us a mouse. Right on in to my kitchen! We caught it, threw it out and disinfected everything in sight! We checked to see if Molly was updated on her rabies shots.

I just feel happy. I feel content that I have been blessed and give great thanks. GREAT THANKS.

The Challege Is Over!

2011-12-02T20:21:00.000-08:00

The 30 day challenge is over, and I have to say, I'm sad!! I actually had a lot of fun blogging every day. I feel there was only 3 days where the post was lame or I couldn't think of anything. But it was fun having to find something interesting in each day!

Brent and I decided one Christmas tree just wasn't enough, so we decided to get a real one in addition to our fake one. We did NOT remember how bad it sucks to put lights on a tree! Or how hard it is to get it to stay in a stand! Our big one is pre lit. We just stack 3 pieces on top of each other, let the branches down and wa-hla!! This one we had to work for!

As my previous tirades have indicated, Scarlet has NOT been sleeping. At all. Wednesday night as I entered the 2nd hour of rocking her, I just couldn't wait to pee another minute!! I snuck out from under her and left her in the recliner. She stayed half awake for a few more minutes, and then drifted off to sleep. I was unwilling to move her. She stayed asleep for 9 1/2 hours....wait let me rephrase that 9 1/2 hours!! So this is where she has slept the last few days. I sincerely hope I didn't just set down a terrible jinx on my head and she goes back to getting up 3 times a night and not going to bed until 1 am. Because if that happens I'll burn this blog to the ground to counter act it! Let me tell you, less crying baby + more sleep = less stress. Less stress + more sleep = mommy won't have to be medicated and shipped off to the insane asylum!!

Warning: I have literally not slept in 4 days and I think I might have a brain tumor

2011-11-30T14:23:00.000-08:00

I haven't been able to hear out of my right ear for 3 days. I have a friend who found out she had a brain tumor from that symptom. Seeing as I am a hypochondriac, I am convinced my days are numbered!!

Scarlet hasn't slept in a month but the last 4 days have been especially awful. Up until 1am, gets up 3 times, up for the day at 7am, and doesn't take naps.

I threatened my husband that if he didn't get up with her this weekend I was going to mix bleach in his breakfast cereal!!

I find myself falling asleep in weird places....including the car!!! While driving!! On the way home from the store for crying out loud!!

I listen to all the other girls talk about their sweet little new borns, and how they can't get enough of them, and how they sleep through the night or get up once in a 12 hour span. I hear them gush and see how their lives are going back to normal.....and I want to grab my purse and pummel them right in their smiling face!!

I also see them wearing normal pants and hear them bitch about that stubborn 5 more pounds they have left. (eh hem I have twenty five) And I want to force feed them brownies.

Everyone reassures me that the craziness will end....and I look at Ella and burst into tears because her craziness HAS NOT ENDED!! Yes she is a good girl but that was 4 months of hard freaking work!! And she still has enough kinetic energy to power a small country!!

So there is my raging tirade for the day!! I could kick a kitty through an electric fan, but I'm just too damn tired!!

It's Begining To Look A Lot Like Christmas!!

2011-11-29T20:25:00.000-08:00

One of my nativity scenes. One day I would like to collect them.

My new goodies from Tia Pan. I really like cardinals.

Glowing presents.

My Christmas tree. I even have some presents wrapped!!

I'm excited for Ella and Christmas this year. She is so excited and gets things better. She asks every day if it's time for Santa to come. I am finished with shopping. I have to get Brent 2 more things and then I am FINISHED!! Yay me!!

Black Friday

2011-11-28T11:14:00.000-08:00

I am one of those crazy people who get up at 3:30 am to go shopping. We fight for deals and I even stole from a lady once. In my defense she had 6 waffle irons and was reaching for another one! I think it's only fair I swiped one right out of her cart!! Here are some of the fun deals I got!

This awesome mixer from Costco. Notice the red, no bang beaters? Awesome!

A robe for Ella and the cutest ear muffs ever! We go for a walk every morning and she complains of cold ears. A hoodie just doesn't do the trick!

A few things for me and Ella. A flannel shirt for me. I LOVE flannel shirts. The best ones are from my grandpa and properly worn out. Two pairs of pajama pants. I like to have prints that are a little wild. Hence the Scottie dog repetition. Two dresses for Ella for only $12.99. I got a size big so they can be for next year.

I got quite a few other things, but they are for Christmas, so I can't just flaunt then on the blog!! It was so much fun. I will always be the crazy Black Friday shopper!!

Scarlet's Blessing

2011-11-27T17:24:00.000-08:00

Scarlet Jorlyn Bowler was blessed by her Daddy this morning. He gave her a beautiful blessing. I didn't even think to have someone write down what was said. I didn't at all with Ella. But my sister and a sweet girl from the ward, Sister Kelley recorded it for me. It was so sweet.

We didn't take hardly any pictures. Scarlet does NOT sleep at ALL, so I'm exhausted. Pictures were pushed to the way side. It was a wonderful day and I'm so grateful for the people who could share it with us.

UNLV

2011-11-26T21:48:00.000-08:00

I just watched the Rebels beat #1 North Carolina. Finally feels good to be a Rebel fan!!

There was much swearing and pacing done by my husband. There was much shouting at the players, because of course they do better when you tell them what to do!! Such an exciting game!!

Thanksgiving

2011-11-25T15:50:00.001-08:00

We did a little photo shoot for my mom. She wanted some grand kid pictures.

Scarlet with her new favorite person!! Aunt Betsy was the baby whisperer last night. Scarlet just laid on her for like 2 hours!

Clay shooting. Jed, Jordan, Brent and my dad. We have some seriously deadly aims in this family!

Ella hiding in Joshlyn's car. She wasn't a big fan of the noise.

Joshlyn and Elise.

We had a great year! Our whole family was together and my Auntie and cousin Caley came too!! It was fun with lots of people and 3 big kids! I am so grateful for my family and friends and I hope every one had a great year!!

I'm way too tired

2011-11-24T20:54:00.000-08:00

Today has been crazy!! We went shooting, cooked all day long, ate too much & now I have to be up and ready to go by 4am!! I will post all about Thanksgiving and Black Friday tomorrow!! Because I am just way too tired!!

I'm Thankful For

2011-11-23T17:07:00.000-08:00

This year I am thankful for:

1. My husband

2. My daughters

3. The scriptures

4. Prayer

5. The Ensign

6. My parents

7. My siblings

8. My sister and brother in law

9. My nieces and nephews

10. Brent's family (All 17 of them!)

11. Modern medicine

12. Good doctors. Especially Dr Ofori and Dr. Wold. Awesome men.

13. DRUGS :)

14. My extended family. I have wonderful aunties and uncles and have acquired some really great ones from marriage!

15. My home

16. Brent's job

17. My Tahoe. She ain't as shiny as she used to be, but she still hauls!

18. My raggedy cat

19. Fall weather (or any time that isn't summer)

20. The priesthood and worthy men who hold it.

There are other insignificant things too. Like Scentsy bars, perfume and chocolate chip cookies, but I thought I'd just list the really important things.

Update On Scarlet

2011-11-22T16:43:00.000-08:00

Little Miss Scarlet is 3 months old today. She is 9lbs 3oz. 22 inches long. She is in the -5 percentile for all areas. She is wearing size 1 diapers, and wears newborn sized clothes. 0-3 month is a only a little roomy, and when it gets cold she is wearing 3-6 month because that is the size of the winter clothes I have!! I don't think it's necessary to go buy a whole new ward robe. She is just going to have to swim in her clothes her whole life, because even though she and Ella were both born in the summer, she is growing a little bit slower!

Comparison- This is the day we brought her home. She was 5lbs 10oz and 18 inches long. She looks like such a little runt!

This Picture Has Multiple Captions

2011-11-21T17:37:00.000-08:00

1st: Ella LOVES the trampoline. I feel like it harnesses her high energy level and gives her lots of fun exercise. She could be on this thing for hours. Maybe one day she will have one of her own in her own back yard!! (hint hint DADDY)

2nd: After picture taking she had to take off her pretty church shoes, but she REFUSED to change her dress. She's a dress girl. Wants to be in a pretty dress regardless of climate or occasion. I'm a mean mom and won't let her wear them in the winter!! But this day was warm so I put on her tennis shoes and let her go! Such a fashionista!!

So Soon!!!

2011-11-20T12:39:00.001-08:00

Okay, I think my bitter tirade is over. No promises it won't come back!!

I can't believe that Thanksgiving is only 4 days away!! New babies certainly make time fly and confuse me on what day it is. Just yesterday I asked Brent what day it was a hundred times. Being one of my favorite holidays, I thought I would share a few of my favorite memories from Turkey day.

1. My favorite Auntie would come with her 5 boys and we would all climb around the hills around our house. It was so fun!

2. The year we went to my other Aunt's house and our creepy uncle watched us a little too intently climb all over the hills behind her house. That year my cousin Ryan composed a lovely melody to go with said child watching!! It went to the tune 'God is watching us'.

3. I was 18 the first year we got up at 3:30am to go Christmas shopping. I heard my dad get up to go hunting and I couldn't fall asleep, so I decided to just get ready. My mom heard me so she got up. Determining we were both up and excited, we decided to just go, crappy hair, little to no make up and all! We were home by 10:30!

4. The year my one of my other Aunts freaked out over a game of Monopoly and threw game pieces everywhere and stomped out side to throw snowballs at our truck. It was shocking at the time, but now it's just a crazy story we tell!! We are now forbidden by my dad to play that game anymore.

5. The year I ate WAY too much pomegranate salad, and drank too much apple juice. Threw up for hours!

6. The year my Granny died. She passed away the Sunday after Thanksgiving 2007. I found out that day I was pregnant with Ella.

Hundreds of other memories too!! I love family and it makes me happy when we can all get together! I'm so excited for this year and for a new member to be introduce to Alderete Family Fun. I think she'll definitely fit in!! (Chelsey!!)

New Born Limbo

2011-11-19T13:21:00.000-08:00

Scarlet will be 3 months old in 3 days! Now you would assume at this point that she would be marking milestones and settling herself into a nice rhythm. WRONG. Because although Scarlet is 3 months old according to the calendar, she is only a month old gestational. Instead of progressing and our house hold beginning to regain some of its composure, the unsettling time of 'newborn' status still hovers like a poison cloud. She still has a hard time eating, she still can't determine night from day every so often, she still gets up multiple times at night, and she is still unsettled and unsure of how to sleep with out being held. At 3 months old a regular baby would be falling into a nice little schedule that would make its mother sigh with relief over only getting up once a night. Or even better, sleeping through the night!! Gasp!! Does such an event really exist!? Feeding should become like clock work and play time involves smiles and happy kicking. For a baby that is still stuck in newborn mode, all of these things elude us.

Heaven forbid I complain about it!! I don't dare utter a peep to most, because I met with scathing rebukes about how I should just be grateful to have have my precious little miracle. I should just enjoy being up all night and listening to constant crying. It will be over soon and then I will forget all about it. Yeah, well, to all those lovely people- come over here and deal with it and then you can have an opinion.

SO here we sit, waiting some what patiently for her to even out. Crying along with her and hoping it gets better soon. Yes we love her. Yes she is darling. Yes we are trying to do our best. We would just like a little less CRAZY in the house hold!!

note* can you tell last night was a bad night?

That's right!! They're up!!

2011-11-18T19:44:00.000-08:00

The Christmas lights are on the house. We usually wait until the Friday after Thanksgiving, but Ella was so excited when she saw one of our neighbors with theirs on, we decided it was time!!

The inflatable Santa hasn't made his way out of the garage. It was windy so we didn't want something to happen to him!

I stepped on a GIANT goat horn when I stepped off the cement to go around the ladder. I left a bloody trail to the house. It hurts so bad!!

Hello nose

2011-11-17T20:28:00.000-08:00

This cute nose belongs to Holly, my dad's black lab. She is the prettiest little girl ever! She was watching us through this crack during our pictures. Just thought it was cute. I want a dog one day. Maybe next year for Christmas. My top choices are:

1. weenie dog

2. Labrador

3. boxer

4. Boston terrier

5. free mutt that is grateful I saved him from the pound, therefore being the best dog ever.

Heard Around Here

2011-11-16T20:46:00.000-08:00

Ella says some crazy stuff. And it is getting hilarious!

1. "Ok Captain Mommy!"

2. "Mommy, Squidward ate all the crabby patties!" She is NOT allowed to watch Spongebob. But Daddy forgets. :/

3. "Oh Mommy! Make her be quiet!!" Referring to Scarlet's continuous crying.

4. "Molly!! Come back here, you fat ass cat!!" Also courteous of daddy.

5. "She's bat crap crazy!" My current favorite.

6. Ella: "Have I been good enough for Santa to come?"

Me: "Yes sweetie!! You have been a very good girl."

Ella: "Good. Cuz I really want that brown dolly from Costco." (Princess Tiana)

My Beautiful Daughters...Caution!! Picture Overload!!!

2011-11-15T18:17:00.000-08:00

Searching for flowers.

Profile

That is my wedding veil.

Hi little face.

The little angle.

A little smile!

Not a super cute picture, but I really liked the background!

Poor little girl. Flower bigger than her head!

Ella's true spirit.

She kind of looks like a beauty contestant.

My beautiful girl.

Done with me and the camera!

I took these pictures myself with the nice camera Brent got me last year for Christmas. I have photoshop but I only used it minimally. I don't like pictures that have the CRAP photoshopped out of them!! I only used it to crop them and lift out some shadows. I didn't enhance anything because I want my children to LOOK like my children!!

Pet Peeves

2011-11-14T18:26:00.001-08:00

Brent asked me to narrow this to the top 10, as I am easily annoyed! :)

1. Excess water on the sink. Like after you wash your face or brush your teeth and don't wipe the splatters up.

2. Clothes left on the floor RIGHT NEXT to the hamper.

3. Excessive gum chewers.

4. People who drive slow in the left hand lane.

5. Smokers who blow smoke haphazardly with out regards for others.

6. Smokers in general.

7. Bad servers

8. Women who flirt with my husband when I'm standing right there.

9. Wet towels on the floor.

10. An empty toilet paper roll with the new roll right on top of it.

Isn't Brent a lucky guy!!

A Girl and her Kitty

2011-11-13T16:52:00.000-08:00

I've always said Molly's been a good sport. Here she is displaying her pretty 'necklace' that Ella decided she needed. (They are Scarlet's hair bows) Molly is often seen wearing items of clothing that an average cat wouldn't usually wear!!

Every evening when Ella is watching her cartoon, Molly comes to sit by her for a soothing stroke. I read once that petting a cat (or any pet for that matter) lowers blood pressure and reduces stress! Stress reduction is definitely something we all need around this house!!

So excited we can finally....

2011-11-12T20:45:00.000-08:00

wear pajamas!! I love winter and I'm so excited it's cooling down.

This girl can't take a good picture!! Lately she won't open her eyes!

Snuggly

2011-11-11T16:24:00.001-08:00

Scarlet hasn't slept in, oh I don't know.... 4 DAYS!!!! She has been constantly crying and fussing. In an effort to quiet her, we decided to go for a walk around 7pm. Ella wanted to go, and I didn't want to walk alone anyway, as I am afraid of the dark. So Brent loaded Scarlet into the regular stroller and I put Ella in the jog stroller. She took all her animals with her. Boots, Black Kitty, and Poodle.

I didn't want her to get cold!! She was Ella burrito!! I wrapped her up and plopped her into the stroller and I don't think she had the ability to move!!

Dreams

2011-11-10T14:05:00.001-08:00

Last night I dreamt that my sister, and 2 sister in laws conducted an intervention for me. Because I was too fat!! They sat me down, told me I looked like crap and took me to the grocery store to buy vegetables. I woke up depressed.

It did prompt me to think about some of the reoccurring dreams I have.

1- Dinosaurs are chasing me. Not just regular dinosaurs, Tyrannosaurus Rex.

2- Bears are chasing me.

3- I have a particular aunt that I don't care much for. (Don't try to guess, I have 11 of them) I dream that I beat the crap out of her!! Vividly!! Pull her hair, punch her, kick her, everything.

4- Brent is getting married to a 2nd wife and I am crushed.

5- I have 8 children but can't see their faces.

What are your reoccurring dreams?

You know it's bad!!!

2011-11-09T21:12:00.001-08:00

My Sunday routine for years now, since Brent and I got married, has been as follows: take a bubble bath, deep condition my hair, slather on a good facial mask, file my callus feet, and paint my toenails. Brent has commented that he has never seen my toes with out polish. You see, I hate feet. I think they, in all forms, are ugly. (I also feel this way about knees, but that's for a different day) I make sure I always have toe nail polish as a way to disguise their ugliness. I have worn polish faithfully since I was 12. I also find chipped, unattended-to polish offensive!!!

Well, today, Brent got home form work early. It was especially hectic. Scarlet was screaming for no known reason, Ella was demanding something and Molly was begging for food. I may or may not have forgot to feed her last night. When the chaos finally subsided, Brent sat by me in the recliner. I notice he was observing my feet with a perplexed look on his face. I looked at them and their sorry state. The silver polish was missing from several toes, and chipped on the others. Chunks were missing from random places, giving them a lovely swiss cheese effect. I looked at him, "What? Why are you looking at my feet?"

Brent stroked my hair, tipped his head to the side and asked, "Are you doing ok? Are the kids being crazy? Has it been a long day?"

After round about questioning, he admitted that he had never seen my toenails in such a state of neglect. He was worried about me. Because my toenails were so bad!!

I quickly went to the bathroom, realizing I hadn't been able to perform my routine in 6 weeks, and painted my toes. Sparkly orange, just for Fall!! Hopefully Brent doesn't have to worry about me now!!

Sleepover!!!

2011-11-08T18:41:00.000-08:00

Brent left Sunday to go to work and we haven't seen him since!! A fatal combination of court and training has kept him in town for 18+ hours a day. He is staying at his brother's house tonight to get a little sleep. SO Ella, Scarlet and I are all sleeping at Grandma's house! Wish Grandma luck!!

Shows I've Been Into

2011-11-07T18:04:00.000-08:00

Scarlet routinely holds me hostage in the rocking chair, so I have developed a liking to a few shows I wouldn't usually watch.

1-The Walking Dead. This show is about a zombie apocalypse. A group of people are trying to find somewhere safe to exist zombie free. It is filled with drama, secret love, prejudice and of course, Zombies. Seriously, a soap opera with dead people!!

2- Sister Wives. This is a reality show that follows a polygamous man who has 4 wives and 17 children. I am deeply fascinated by them. I personally could not share my husband with another woman. I am too insecure and would be too jealous!! Brent assured me, if he took a second wife, he would make sure she was fat, ugly and could cook really well! :)

3- Big Bang Theory. I haven't watched this from the beginning. I only recently starting watching it when it came to TBS. At first I wasn't interested in it, but when I was rocking Scarlet to sleep and the clicker was out of reach, I watched an episode. It is hilarious!! I love snob humor.

4- Who's Line Is It Anyway?- This is an old improvisation show that aired on ABC. It comes on ABC Family every night. It makes me laugh because those guys are so goofy!

So this is my current state of being. Lots of TV with my 2 month old. Because she was 2 months early she has only gestational became a newborn. I am now hoping we will now start moving forward in her development. I.E. SLEEPING

Little Ditty

2011-11-06T12:01:00.000-08:00

There is a little song we have always sang in my family. It's a cute Thanksgiving song. Now that I have my own children, I sing it to them. I'm starting to wonder though, if it's a little morbid!

There's a great, big turkey out on Grandpa's farm,

And he thinks he very gay.

He spreads his tail just like a great big fan,

And he struts around all day.

You can hear him gobble at the girls and boys,

thinks he's singing when he makes that noise.

He will sing a different tune,

Upon Thanksgiving day!!

Sing the bold faced part in a menacing tone!! :) I can't believe there is only 19 more days until Thanksgiving. We are extra excited because for the first time in 5 years, Brent doesn't have to work!!

Resident Evils

2011-11-05T17:12:00.001-07:00

The current objects that vex me:

1. My next door neighbors 'vampire' truck. Apparently this vehicle can not function unless the sun has set. It roars to life with its original 1960-something engine, surpassing the average truck's sound decibel level. Layman's terms? LOUD truck.

2. The weeds in my back yard. The tallest has now reached a good 12 feet.

3. My inability to officially wake up every day.

4. My three year old's desire to get into everything that doesn't belong to her.

5. My 2 months old's desire to continually cry.

Hypocrite

2011-11-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

The following is a list I stole from someone else! Things I swore I would never do, and have not. Things I swore I would never do and have.

Things I will never do:

1- I will never be a fan of reality stars. I.E. Kim Kardashian, Snooki, Paris Hilton

2- I will never drink Pepsi or Coke as my preferred beverage. I just don't like it.

3- I will never smoke.

4- I will never be a relaxed, easy going person.

5- I will never be blond. Not that I have anything against the hair color. I just think I would ridiculous.

Things I said I would never do and have:

1- Own a "sweat suit". One of those valour ones in a bright color. Yeah, I do and it's plum.

2- Run a marathon. I haven't done this, but I have now decided to toy with idea!

3- Have a DVR

4- Play video games

5- Buy an Ipod

6 Get stuck on sitcoms

SO there you are!! All my hypocrisy out in open!!

This is why I have a Bug Man!

2011-11-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

I found this dead young lady on the doorstep of my back porch. Her abdomen was the size of a dime. Go get a dime. Look at it. Yep! One big damn spider!!

The red hour glass on the belly confirms, black widow. Big. Spider.

A big thank you to my neighborhood, friendly bug guy of On Target Pest Control.

Don't want spiders? Or ants? Or roaches? Call him!! We love him! ;)

My Ghost Story

2011-11-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

Coming off the coat tails of Halloween I thought I would share my first 'paranormal' experience. I have had my fair share, some of them I'm sure there is an explanation for and some there just isn't. I believe in the paranormal, but I also know that the majority of cases can be explained.

I was around the age of 13. We lived in my old house. For years I had notice shadows out of the corner of my eye and would hear noises I didn't recognize. I passed them off, not even considering a different explanation might be in order. I am notorious for my insomnia and would routinely lay awake at night or prowl the house. In my room, if I lie in my bed and faced out, my head was level with my desk. Our rooms were small, so the desk was fairly close to my bed. I would throw towels, or clothes over the back of the chair on a regular basis, until I was ready to put said item in its appropriate place.

I have very poor vision. So bad that if I don't have contacts in or glasses on, my hands extended in front of my face are blurry.

I was laying in bed, trying to sleep, and would occasionally open my eyes to peer out into the hallway. I noticed a white shirt draped over my desk chair was arranged in the shape of a human form. I kept observing this interesting phenomenon, assuming it was a shirt or towel that looked spooky. I squinted hard, trying to remember what I had left there. Finally deciding the image was just too creepy. I swatted my hand in a half hearted attempt to knock the object to the floor. As my fingers met what I had assumed would be material, they felt like I had plunged them into ice cold jello. I jerked my hand away and starred wide eyed at the pale mass in my desk chair. I was stunned. Frozen in place. The specter seemed to turn its head slightly, regard me, and then dissolved into nothing.

Ironically I wasn't afraid of what ever had occupied my desk chair, just surprised.

Other events occurred in that old house, but I digress. Maybe another time.

Brought to you by the letter J

2011-11-01T20:14:00.000-07:00

In my family we have a J name over load. George(which is does not begin with J, but has a J sound), Jeanette, Jennifer, Julian, Jed, Joshlyn, Jara, Jack, Jordan. Gasp! Say that 10 times fast! There is an on going joke about the excess of J's, and some of us have decided to branch in a different direction.

Now my husband's family has developed their own over load!! E's!! Ella, Ethan, Elsie, Elizabeth and now my newest niece Elise. (She is actually my sister's new daughter)

I guess great minds all think alike. I am curious to see the next letter that crops up in multiples.

My Challenge

2011-11-01T17:31:00.000-07:00

I am taking inspiration from my blogging buddy Whitney, and have challenged myself to blog every day for the month of November. I think it might be slightly cheating to pick a shorter month, but that's only a minor detail!!!

I feel it is only fair to warn you that these posts might be filled with personal opinions, judgement and sarcasm. So tomorrow I will have hopefully pulled together something interesting enough to blog about. Get excited!!!

PS Whitney I'm sorry, but I may rip off a few of your ideas!! Because in all honesty, I'm just not that creative!!

Halloween Party

2011-10-29T19:56:00.001-07:00

My dad came as a mighty hunter. Mrs. W is an awesome witch!

Scarlet sleeping with her favorite blanket.

Brent was a state champ football player. Not just a regular football player. A state champ.

Our awesome pumpkins!!

Scarlet as a pumpkin.

My mom didn't dress up...hehe!!

Ella the fairy. I was a fairy too, but no picture!!!

AND just another picture of Scarlet sleeping. Cuz she is just so cute when she's doing it!!

Diagnosis....and some other stuff

2011-10-22T15:55:00.000-07:00

This is what is wrong with Scarlet's kidneys. One side tried to form 2 kidneys and then they fused created one malformed kidney. The larger ureter dropped down too low into her bladder and covered the exit, resulting in urine back up. The larger ureter and the top portion of the malformation will have to be surgically removed in 2 years. Bad news is: if we had another child, it has a 50% chance of having the same thing wrong. Bleak out look!!

She's getting so much bigger! She weighed 8lbs 5oz at the urologists yesterday!! We couldn't believe it! She still looks so skinny with her chicken legs and arms. I guess at 2 months it's about time she fit into Newborn clothes! You can kind of see where her IV went into her hand yesterday. It took them an hour and 15 minutes to finally get it in. They tried in both feet and both hands twice before it stuck. She screamed the ENTIRE time. The test was successful and we won't have to do it again for a year.

The corn was too hot for Ella to hold. So Daddy was her cob holder!

When he got tired of it, she improvised!!

Hot Topics... A Little About ME

2011-10-18T21:17:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today, that not every one who reads this blog know a lot about me. I thought I'd give a few fun facts about me. Just for fun!!

1. I have a large vocabulary. But I can't spell.

2. I love to read. Mostly trashy romance.

3. I'm short.

4. I WORRY about my weight all the time.

5. I'm very honest and direct. Sometimes people don't appreciate this.

6. I think I'm a little psychic.

7. I have a cosmetology license. I used to do hair but retired.

8. I also used to coach the cheerleaders. I loved it!! And I miss it.

9. I'm private.

10. I'm impatient.

11. I believe in the paranormal. I just think real cases are few and far between.

12. My favorite actors are Kevin Costner and Tom Hanks

13. My favorite singer is Bryan Adams. No not the one I went to high school with.

14. My favorite movie is 'Robin Hood Prince of Thieves'

15. I love Christmas

16. I am not pretentious. At least I try not to be.

17. I don't buy name brand.

18. But I'm not cheap either.

19. I don't compete with anyone but myself.

20. I really don't care what people think. I worry about myself.

21. I have breast implants. Yup. That's right. I've had 'em for 2 years and I have never regretted them for a minute and I still don't!! I LOVE them.

22. I have a tattoo of a butterfly on my butt.....haha just kidding!!! Thought you might like another shock!! Seriously, I don't. :)

Assorted

2011-10-14T10:02:00.000-07:00

What do you do if you're at the park, and your first attempt at urination in nature results in wet pants and panties? Your Mommy fashions a crude loin cloth out of you sisters burp rag. We weren't ready to leave!!

Didn't even phase her.

Today is my official due date. My baby with be 8 weeks old on Monday. She has finally out grown her preemie clothes. I put one of the sleepers on her on Tuesday and it fit, but when I went to put one on her last night, it just wouldn't fit! So now we are working on filling out newborn size.

Awake!! Poor Scarlet suffers from male pattern baldness. She's doing well so far. Everyone is getting used to a little less sleep. Mostly Mommy!

Pink

2011-09-29T16:38:00.001-07:00

This is just a cute picture, even if you can see all the veins in her head!! And she's frowning again!

Ella has a special blanket that she has to have with her almost always. His name is Pink. He is a scrap piece of white fleece with pink flowers all over it. I try to sneak pink away when it is wash day, but some times she catches me!! She is so sad waiting for him to come out of the wash!!

But if I don't wash him, he is smelly, dirty and crispy!! Not to mention germ filled!! Poor Ella watches all the minutes count down on the washer, helps me load the dryer, and asks me every few minutes, "How much time left?" until the buzzer goes off and her and pink are reunited. Then she sings the 'Pink is clean' song. She loves her Pink!!

Around Here

2011-09-27T11:35:00.000-07:00

Scarlet is tiny and has chicken legs. She also hates the camera and frowns before every picture! We took her to the doctor in Friday, just for a follow up from the hospital. She is 5lbs 15oz and 18 1/4 in long. To us she seems so much bigger!

Ella has been doing a lot of this (watching cartoons) lately. I could act like I care, but I don't!!

I don't like having babies in my room, I hear every little noise and I can't sleep and I just worry about it. So we put Scarlet in her crib, but it's ALL the way down the hall. Brent graciously agreed with me and moved our extra mattress to the room next to hers. It's our computer room. This way I am close but I can't here every little sigh and whimper. So far it has worked great!

This is the only person in the house hold who feels like they are suffering neglect. Poor kitty has been outside more than usual and hasn't got to sleep in some one's lap for awhile.

She officially fits into her preemie clothes and we are working toward newborn size!! They drown her and I have to roll back the sleeves 3 times. Please ignore how crappy I look, I'm still adjusting to lack of sleep!! Seriously haven't done my hair in a week!! And I don't even care!!!

Scarlet

2011-09-21T14:07:00.001-07:00

So far everything is good! She eats, poops, and sleeps. She's more active at night, but her activeness consists of grunting and flailing. I just lay her down and go back to sleep!

Ella is being very sweet. Hopefully she continues to like Scarlet and not decide she's a threat!

It's strange to have her home. I haven't been pregnant for over 4 weeks, so I'm starting to think about dieting and exercising again, and all the other things you get back to after a baby. But she just barely got home, so the lack of sleep has just barely set in, instead of starting to level out! The lack of sleep isn't Scarlet's fault either. It's mine!! She's in our room so every little sound I lift my head to look at her. I have to make sure she's still breathing!! :)

Good News

2011-09-20T17:13:00.000-07:00

Scarlet is home!! Pictures later.

Adventures

2011-09-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

I know I said I wouldn't post again until Scarlet came home. Well, I lied!!

They took out her icky feeding tube. The red mark on her cheek is from the tape that held it on.

I am anxious to dress her in proper clothes and not in plain, ugly hospital ones. Her preemie diapers are still too big!!

Poor Molly was recently introduced to sock bonnets. Ella thought she needed a hat and this is what was devised. Molly's a good sport. (The 'hat' is the top of a black tube sock cut off from the rest of the sock)

Daddy was incharge of bath time and did not realize what a jetted tub will do to bubble bath.

The experience was thoroughly enjoyed!!

Ella loves laundry fresh out of the dryer. Summer or winter she wants to curl up in the warm clothes.

I'd like to thank everyone for supporting me in my time of need/ bitterness/sadness/fear. I appreciate it very much!!

There is no news

2011-09-14T19:53:00.000-07:00

Last week we had a positive outlook. This week not so much. On Saturday Scarlet had a set back. Her belly bloated up and her doctors were worried she had an infection. After almost 3 days of blood tests and X rays, it was determined she had gas. It was very discouraging, so I haven't wanted to post. I don't want to get my hopes up. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to sound too pathetic or ungrateful, but I am starting to lose my ability to stay positive and get excited for any progression.

Every one has asked me how I am, and I will give you the answer. I don't want this to come across as pety, or bitchy, because it's not. I'm not ungrateful or angry or jealous. I do not seek attention or desire pity. I am simply describing my experience.

This has been the most terrible experience of my life. And to be honest, I have been through some $%*@ in my life. I have never felt such helplessness and heartache. I have never been so frusterated and consumed by my need to act. It is difficult to describe how hard it is to watch your defenseless infant struggle. To watch her be stabbed with needles for blood. To stare longingly through the plexi glass of her pod, but not be allowed to touch her for weeks. To not have the oppurtunity or option to hold her, or touch her, or to stop her from crying. To watch a stranger comfort her. To see her weak and watch her cry.

I am heart broken. Yes I know this will end. I know it will resolve and she will come home. But the journey from the beginning to end is a long, hard one.

Do I feel sorry for myself. No. I'm just sad. I don't ask, 'why me'. I know it could be much worse and I'm grateful it's not. I have seen babies come through the NICU with heart problems, one with limbs missing and some that can't breath on their own. I even watched a little boy cling to life and found out later he couldn't cling any longer. He slipped from the world through the night.

I am ready for my family to be together. I'm ready for the emotional upheaval to end. I'm ready for the uncertainty to be over. I don't plan on posting until she can come home. I do not know when that will be. I don't have a guess, and I have to come to the point of not even trying to estimate. Hopefully one day I will be able to have a picture of her at home, with out tubes or wires, and then I will believe it.

And yet another update.....

2011-09-09T10:40:00.000-07:00

Scarlet is doing well. All her numbers have lowered and are stable. Her kidney function is normal. She is gaining weight and is currently 5lbs 1oz. She started out at 5lbs 5oz, but they drained something like 10oz of fluid out of her bladder right after she was born. Then she lost a little bit of weight at birth, like all babies do.

We're not sure when she will be able to come home. Her doctor (who is the most wonderful woman in the world & I would buy her a car if I could afford it) said that her renal (kidney) function is not what is keeping her in the NICU right now. She has to learn to take a bottle every feed for 48 hours and then she can come home. Right now she is taking every other feed from a bottle and doing well with it. Dr. G is going on vacation on Friday the 16th, and she said she fully expected her to be gone by the time she left. That is a week from today, so hopefully some time next week she will be ready to join us as a family!!

This has been a complicated journey. I am grateful for all of Scarlet's doctor and nurses who have worked hard for her. I'm grateful for my family and my husband and Ella. I don't want to rush Scarlet home, but I will be very happy when she is!!

Disclaimer

2011-09-04T18:23:00.000-07:00

I am a selfish person. Prone to bouts of self pity and indignation.

I am also self aware.

I have done well with not feeling sorry for myself over the last few weeks. But this morning I was over come with feelings of 'I have it bad and no one knows how hard it is and they should all feel sorry for me because I have it the WORST.'

And then I discovered a person who had it MUCH worse than me, and it put into perspective how blessed I really have been.

I wasn't even supposed to get pregnant, let alone stay pregnant. But I did.

Scarlet's problems could have gone undetected until they were life threatening. But they weren't.

Scarlet was born early, with a problem with her bladder and kidneys. That is the least of the worst case scenarios. She has so far had healthy tests for her heart and lungs and there are no signs that that should change.

I have a wonderful family, who has been a support group for me.

I have an amazing husband and a beautiful older daughter. She has tried really hard to be good.

So it is isn't fair that I feel sorry for myself. I have A LOT to be grateful for. I could be facing a much more difficult struggle.

Look Who's Out Of The Pod!!

2011-09-02T19:03:00.001-07:00

She sleeps with her little mouth hanging open. She is currently 4lbs 10oz. It sounds so tiny but she is actually bigger than most of her "podmates". There is a little girl in there that is only 2lbs 1oz!! She is SO very tiny.

She looks so different without her feeding tube taped to her mouth. She's doing good. She needs to learn to bottle feed and to tolerate those feedings. Hopefully she picks it up fast!! I want her to be as healthy as she can!! And we are all ready to have her in our family.

Questions Answered

2011-09-01T17:53:00.000-07:00

There are a serious of questions that I have been asked, that I thought I should clear up.

NO I did not plan to have my baby 8 weeks early.
NO I am not happy about it.
NO I am not SO happy to not be pregnant.
NO I would never do it again.
NO I don't feel like I lucked out and dodge the last 2 months of pregnancy.
NO I would NOT rather go this early as apposed to going late.
NO I did not choose to have a C section.
NO I do not feel sorry for myself, or have self pity.
NO I do not feel resentful to those who has had babies and have brought them home.
NO I am not currently worried about calories.
YES This is very difficult
YES I'm aware God has a plan, please don't try to interpret it for me. I'll figure it out on my own.

Reflection

2011-08-29T15:43:00.000-07:00

The last week has been so full of a hundred different things, I don't know how to start the list. Monday morning I was gutted like a fish, which did result in a brand new baby, so that helps the feeling. Didn't get to bring that baby home with me and have only held her twice. My head has been filled with numbers. Billirubin numbers. Oxygen saturation numbers. Kidney flow numbers. Weight numbers. Sleep apnea numbers and caffeine numbers. Scarlet has a respiratory therapist, a urologist, a physician, a nurse, and a charge nurse. Her little feet are riddled with heel sticks from blood work. She is covered in tubes. Feeding tube, catheter, 2 IVs, heart monitor, lung monitor. I have driven to Vegas every day and put gas in my Tahoe every other day. I now have all the streets between here and Sunrise hospital memorized. I know where all the bathrooms are in the hospital. I bought 2 preemie outfits for when we get to take her home, and have decided that it is unnatural for a baby to be able to fit inside a sleeper that small!!

I have cried at least twice every hour for one or more reasons. Not always sad ones. I can hum half the hymn book before I run out of songs I know. I miss my family. I miss my daughter, the one I happen to not be with at the time. My sister had a baby, and I can't believe it!! She was supposed to go first so I could have hers to play with for awhile!!

I haven't wanted to pray, because I only pray when I feel desperate and I don't want to feel like that. So I say my prayers like nothing is wrong, like I'm just ready for the day. (or night) Which is strange, because I asked for a blessing at least once a day the 4 days before Scarlet was born.

Good news is, although the last week has been full of some of the strongest turmoil I have ever had to experience, everything is going well. All those numbers are lowering. All those numbers are settling to where they are supposed to be. Scarlet is getting healthier. I feel less like a filleted fish and more like a human. I have never been so grateful for others in my whole life, or appreciated acts of kindness so much. I just want to sit down and sigh, and get through one day at a time.

More Pictures

2011-08-26T22:11:00.001-07:00

Look at all her dark hair!! I know it isn't like the little hispanic babies, but it is WAY more than Ella had!! If she would have gone to full term there would have been a ton!! And it's dark! I guess I got used to blondie Ella.

I know this picture is sad and hard to look at. But these are her tiny little hands. She's covered in a lot of wires and tubes. Her surgery went well yesterday. It did what is was supposed to do and now we need to hope and pray that it CONTINUES to do what it is supposed to do.

I love her so much. I always worried that once I had another child, I might like her more than the first one, or not as much.

But my mom was right, you love them just the same. I see Ella every day after being in the hospital and I love her so much. I am surprised everyday how smart she is and how big she is getting. I see Scarlet and I feel the same way. I'm excited to see her every day and I am always sad when we have to leave.

Thank you every one for thinking and praying for us. It means so much to me!

When Words Aren't Enough

2011-08-24T22:01:00.000-07:00

The last week has been one of the most emotional and over whelming of my entire life. I don't think it would be fair to not publicly thank some very special people.

First off. Thank you to anyone who even thought about us for a moment, or sent a prayer our way. We have needed them and they are much appreciated.

Thank you to all the wonderful medical personal that were with us step by step. There is a fantastic nurse in the Sunrise Labor & Delivery OR that I will never forget. I was scared to death for my C section and she held my hand, held me and soothed me through the whole ordeal. I know Heavenly Father put her there because I needed her understanding and compassion. The anesthesiologist was also an amazing man. He was a high councilman for his stake and had a calm voice. He knew how scared I was and made sure he was extra careful so I wouldn't be afraid.

I am so thankful for my specialist Dr. Wold. He didn't have to do my surgery, but he chose to. It meant so much to have a familiar face in the OR. He is an amazing doctor and also knew I was scared. He brought my daughter very safely into this world and talked to me the whole time so I wouldn't be afraid.

I don't know where I would be with out my husband. He has done some serious dirty work. He has dressed me, and cleaned me and cared for me. He has been a patient, willing slave for a week and has never even frowned about it. He has jumped every time I asked for something. He has been in charge when I just didn't want to be. He has sheltered me and lifted me up and I don't know what I would do with out him.

I am so thankful for my sister. She has taken my daughter and treated her like one of her own, so my mom could have a break. I know she has thought of me and understood me. I feel like we share this private secret now that we have both have had C sections. I aways had sympathy for her, but I never knew how scary and painful it was!

Most of all I am so thankful for my mom. She has had Ella for almost a week. I was so worried about Ella being there with her, because sometimes Ella can be really intense! My mom kept telling me how good she has been, and I realized it wasn't Ella who made that environment. It was my mom. She made Ella feel safe, and loved and cared for her with all her heart. I could trust her with out question and knew Ella was safe and happy the whole time. It was hard to leave Ella. I haven't ever done it before. But I knew she was in hands more capable than mine. There is not a big enough thank you or a way to repay such a thing. I routinely take my mom for granted and this week showed me just how much she does for me and how much she means to my family. I love her and my dad so much and I am so glad they are my parents. I am so glad they were able to take my daughter into their home and love her so much, she didn't even realize I was gone.

It has been a very emotional last couple of days. I love my new little girl so much. I have kept a vigilant heart, that everything is going to be okay. I have to keep that feeling or I might just collapse. I am thankful for her little spirit and I am praying that one day I am going to look back on this and remember how hard it was, but see her and have graciousness that she thrived.

Words are something I pride myself with being able to use. I feel like I have the ability to put thoughts down on paper and use them to describe my feelings. But today there are no words. I am so thankful and blessed. I can only use those basics to describe what is in my heart, and sometimes the basic is the most powerful.

Here She Is!!!

2011-08-23T18:27:00.000-07:00

Scarlet Jorlyn Bowler was born Monday August 22nd at 11:06am. She was 5lbs 5oz 15 inches long. She was 32 weeks and 3 days, almost 8 weeks early.

She is so tiny! Her cheeks look kind of rough. She had some tape holding in some tubes and it chaffed her brand new skin.

I wish I could just hold and snuggle her, but my time with her is limited. All of her tests so far have come back good. There are lots of long explanations that go with those tests, but I don't feel like repeating them!! Let's just say she is doing really well!! Breathing on her own and emptying her bladder!!

This is her little tiny foot. Ella was small, but she came out with jack rabbit feet!! These feet are so small. She has kind of a lot of dark hair. If she would have gone to term, I think she would have had a bunch!! I think she would have been huge too! I gained a lot of weight with her, but in hind sight, it's a good thing!! Now she has some fat on her!!

We love her so much already. We are hoping she keeps improving and can come home at the beginning of September. I am so thankful for every one's thoughts and prayers. I'm a little overwhelmed and a lot tired, but I will do some better posts in the future!!

Updates

2011-08-21T13:36:00.000-07:00

Scarlet Jorlyn Bowler will be born tomorrow at 10:30 am via emergency c section. There is some kind of blockage to her bladder and kidneys and they can't drain. It will be safer for her to be on the outside more than the inside at this point. I have no amniotic fluid and there is none being produced so it is best to have her out.

I'm afraid for her and afraid to have a c section. But I have full confidence in our team of doctors. My specialist is going to do the delivery and I met with an amazing neonatologist today. He was calm and patient and answered all of the questions I had with a wonder nature. I usually have a good first impression of people and I automatically felt good about him. He was very calm as is my specialist Dr. W. I like to associate with calm people. They make me feel safe and in control.

Yesterday was a very bad day because I just didn't know what was going on. Now we have a plan and I thrive on a plan.

I just want everyone to know what is going on. I'm not trying to get pity or attention. I just wanted everyone to know what's going on. Tomorrow I may have pictures of my new, very tiny baby girl.

Thanks everyone for all the kind words. It makes me feel very loved. I have been on blogs and facebook A LOT since I'm trapped in the hospital, tethered to my bed by my evil IV. There isn't even a window in my room!! I feel like an under ground animal!! But it is only temporary. I will be released on Wednesday, but Scarlet will be here for at least 3 weeks.

Here's My New Drama

2011-08-21T09:12:00.000-07:00

Scarlet seemed like she had stopped moving as much as she should have. I went to a regular scheduled doctor's appointment on Tuesday and he had me do a non stress test. It came back just ok. So he scheduled me for another one Thursday. It came back good. I still didn't feel good about it though. If it was good, why wasn't she moving? My wonderful doctor scheduled an ultra sound for Friday afternoon. As soon as the probe hit my stomach I could see a large black spot. The nice tech set down the prob and practically ran to find the doctor. They determined that Scarlet's bladder was swollen to 10 times it's normal size. It is taking up her whole abdominal cavity. All of her urine is also backing up into her kidneys. My amniotic fluid was way too low, so I was sent off to the hospital to spend the night and get fluids. We were all hoping that she would empty her bladder, and that would help fill everything up.

I was there for 24 hours and nothing had changed. With a very heavy heart I was admitted to Sunrise Hospital in Vegas. I have kind of had a horrible experience her. My high state of anxiety has given me contractions all night and they just barely decided to give me something to stop them. I have been waiting for a specialist to come and check things out for 15 hours and she has yet to make an appearance. I have had 2 hours of sleep since yesterday at 6am. All I do is lay away and pray/beg/plead/ and barter for Scarlet to please empty her bladder and we can go from there. I'm greasy, ugly and exhausted. I'm frustrated and ready to rip this IV out of my arm and march out of here, hospital gown and all. Do they really have to open in the back? Really?

I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself, and vowing to never ever get pregnant again. If I decide I want another child, I will just pay someone to carry it for me!! It's a bad economy!! I bet someone would be interested!!!

I will update later when I know what is officially going on.

Back in My Hay Day

2011-08-19T11:14:00.000-07:00

These are some pictures I found from high school. I miss being a cheerleader!! It was a lot of fun. I especially miss it right now, because I am NOT in shape and I am NOT flexible!! Maybe in a few months I'll feel better! :) Above: Tessa, Kim, Ashley, Becca. We thought we some big, bad seniors!!

Our Varsity squad for my senior year. We were so good!! I miss these girls! Amy, Ashley, Becca, Ashley #2, Kim, Tessa, Katie, Tara

Cheer camp 1999. We are JV sophomores. Ashley, Andrea, Becca, Amber, Tessa & Amber

This is our senior year again. In the left picture is me (obviously) and that blondie is now my sister in law! I'm not sure who the dark haired girl is, but I think her name was Linda.

The right picture was 'ground up double Ls' Ashley, Danielle, Amanda and I think Amy is in the back, but you can't see her face.

I seriously can't believe high school was 9 years ago. I had a lot of fun, but I'm happy where I'm at now. I don't think I would want to do high school again!! Lots of drama!! I just thought I'd post these for fun!!

More Conversations

2011-08-13T21:05:00.000-07:00

Number One

Jara: Ashee, are you having a baby like Mommy? (Eyeing me suspiciously)

Me: Yes I am.

Jara: Is it a baby girl? Or a baby boy?

Me: It's a little girl.

Jara: (sigh of relief) Oh good!

Number 2

Ella: Mommy, do you have a sister?

Me: Yes I do. Aunt Joshlyn is my sister.

Ella: Is Aunt Chelsey your sister?

Me: No. Uncle Jordan is my brother and Aunt Chelsey is his wife.

Ella: (blank stare) So is Gramma your sister?

Me: No. Gramma is MY mommy.

Ella: Is Jara MY sister?

Me: No sweetie, she's your cousin.

Ella: (throws her hands up in frustration) I give up!

Number 3

Ella: (watching tangled) If that man is ugly, does it mean he's a bad guy?

Me: No. Sometimes good guys are ugly.

Ella: I've never seen one.

Number 4

(over heard by me from the next room)

Jara: Jack!! You have to be nice to Ella and give her everything she wants!

Jack: Me want it!

Jara: Mommy said you have to. It's called being nice!

Jack: Me nice.

Jara: Then give it back.

Jack: (disgruntled muttering)

Ella: Thanks Jackie!!

Just Some Stuff

2011-08-07T08:42:00.001-07:00

This is the only 'belly shot' this blog is ever going to see! Molly has never been interested in laying ON me. She usually just wants to lay NEXT to me. But since I got pregnant, she has been territorial of my belly.

In honor of my husband and his family's unwavering commitment to UNLV, I got the girls these.

Hopefully they can be worn honorable, and not in shame!!

Every time she wears these, Ella tells me she 'loves her basketball shorts".

3D Ultrasound

2011-08-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

Here is a 3D ultra sound of little Scarlet! I think she looks mostly like Ella! I think they have the same nose and cheeks. Everything else looked great. Her bladder, kidneys, brain, heart, everything looked good and healthy.

I will be 30 weeks on Friday and it seems like I am so close to being done, but still so far away! At least the pregnancy count down will be into the single digits.

Conversations

2011-07-28T16:29:00.000-07:00

Conversation #1

Ella: Mommy I want a carrot.

Me: Ok (I get her a carrot from the fridge)

Ella: No. (Hands carrot back) A blue carrot!

Me: Oh honey, they don't make blue carrots. They only come in orange.

Ella: No, they are blue and red. And have feathers and a beak.

She wanted a PARROT, not a carrot. The answer was NO!! I don't think a parrot would be a good friend for Molly.

Conversation #2

Ella: Daddy, can we go get Mommy a movie?

Daddy: Not today sweetie, we watched a movie yesterday.

Ella: No a movie!

Me: Ella, Daddy said no to a movie. Not today.

Ella: (sigh of exasperation) No!! I get a juice box, YOU get a smoothie!!!

She totally dimed me out for my little obsession with McDonald's mango pineapple smoothies. She doesn't like them, or ice cream cones, so I get her an apple juice box.

Conversation #3

Ella: Mommy, can Scarlet come out and play tea party with me?

Me: She's not ready to come out yet honey. She still has a few months.

Ella: But your belly is really, really big!!

Me: Thanks love, glad your so observant!!

*All of these conversations were a result from Brent and I not making the effort to interpret her, not because she actually calls things by the wrong name!!

How Yesterday Went Down

2011-07-20T20:30:00.000-07:00

5:00 - Turned on the oven to bake cookies

5:10 - Realized Brent did NOT clean all the grease and cheese out of the oven like he promised he would after the pizza he cooked 2 days before. See billowing smoke. Open door and turn on fans to help clear the air.

5:30 - Oven finally cools off. I have to kneel down and reach across my huge belly to scrub away the residue.

6:00 - Oven clean, cookies baking

6:15 - Ella has a #2 bathroom accident. She decides to take care of it her self.

6:16 - I discover said accident and try to help.

6:17 - In a fit of upset Ella tries to run, stepping in the panties on the floor, covering her foot in fecal matter. Tracks said matter down the hallway.

6:19 - I throw Ella in the shower, clean up the MESS.

6:30 - Ella refuses to get out of the shower. I start dinner.

6:32 - Ella decides she will get out now, I leave the meat I was tenderizing on the counter.

6:38 - Ella dressed. Back to the kitchen. Molly is on the counter GNAWING on my meat!!!

6:45 - Meat is disposed of. Molly is not dead because I am now too big to catch her. She is hiding under the dresser.

7:15 - Discover ants marching from back door to kitchen sink. Vacuum. Spray. Repeat.

9:00 - Ella decides she doesn't need to sleep.

9:30 - Ella is forced to sleep with being swaddled for the first time in her life and being sang to. Protests for at least 15 minutes.

9:31 - Brent arrives at home early, asking how my day was.

10:00 - Ashley goes to sleep, wondering why there is no mercy in this world!!!

This Is How I Feel

2011-07-13T20:55:00.001-07:00

This is how Molly and I feel about the summer heat. Doesn't she kind of blend in to the couch?

As I near the beginning of my 3rd trimester, I have been getting more and more excited! It has been awhile since I had a newborn!! Ella and Scarlet will be 3 years and 3 months apart, and by Mormon standard time, that's practically 2 seperate families!! I've been thinking about how fun (and daunting) having a new born will be again. I've bee thinking about changing diapers, feeding, rocking, and sleeplessness. (Not that I don't already have that.)

I've also been wondering what she will look like. When we were getting ready to have Ella, we assumed she would be dark. I thought dark genes were dominant, so I figured I'd have a dark haired, dark eyed baby. Well was I wrong!! Blond hair! Blue eyes!! And I never even considered curls!! So now I've been wondering what Scarlet will look like!

Between the two families we have:

Eyes: brown, blue, green and hazel

Hair: dark brown, light brown, blond, red

We kind of have the lottery going! It also makes me wonder, will she be a big baby? Or little like Ella? Long? Short? All in all, I don't really care what she looks like! I just want her to be healthy.

Happy Birthday Ella!!

2011-07-11T19:54:00.000-07:00

My little girl is three!! I can't believe it!! It seems like just yesterday we brought her home and didn't know what to do with her. This is the wagon Grandma and Grandpa got her. She loved it and I foresee a lot of walks down the street in it.

Blowing out candles on her blue dinosaur cake. She picked it out herself!

Roller skates! She's been asking for these for awhile. She needs a hand a hold, but before long see will be crazy, I just know it!!!

Happy Birthday to my beautiful, smart, sweet, crazy little girl!! We are so glad we have you, and hopefully we survive you!! :)

4th of July

2011-07-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

Ella was really excited for the fireworks. The sound from the neighbor's lawn mower makes her nervous, but gun powder explosions are no problems! She kept saying, "How pretty!!" and "Sparkly!"

We had an impromptu BYOM party. (Bring your own meat) All the kids ran around crazy and invented new games. It was so fun!! It's good for them to be evil together!! Ella and Jara were princesses or fairies...or something!!

We went to the pool twice this weekend. Ella can't get enough of the water!!

We also made a quick Wal-Mart trip. Ella found this bath scrubbie. She named it Squishy and I have not been able to pry it out of her hands!!

You may notice an absence of me and Brent in these pictures. Brent is just really good at staying out of pictures. And I will not be seen for a couple more months. Regular Ashley is NOT photogenic. Pregnant Ashley is a nightmare!!

Decision

2011-06-30T14:26:00.000-07:00

I have been torn between the two names that I had on the poll for Scarlet's middle name. Patricia was my mom's oldest sister who passed away from cancer in 2002. Perea was my great granny's middle name. She raised my dad. I have gone back and forth with no real conviction since I found out she as a girl! I have even been praying and really pondering the matter. Well, it came to me in the middle of the night while I was brooding on it. I decided to not use either of them!! Instead I invented a name!! Now, ordinarily I do not support the inventions of new names. I think there are going to be a lot of poor little children out there in a few years, because I've heard some whoppers!! Seeing how it is her middle name, I thought I could get away with it a little more! Sooooo.......... I have decided on Jorlyn. Pronounced with the Jor more prominent. Think JOR-lyn. It is the combination of my sister's and brother's name. (Jordan and Joshlyn) So there it is!! Scarlet Jorlyn Bowler.

First Day of My Weekend Of Glory

2011-06-26T11:07:00.001-07:00

My sister and Jed were very nice and took us out to the lake. My birthday is on Tuesday and I like to have a full weekend of birthday fun, so we started Saturday!! Abive is Aunt Chelsey, Jack, Jara, and Uncle Jed.

Everyone loved the giant tube. Ella and Jara even took a ride.

Ella and Chelsey were tired on the way home. The flash made Ella displeased.

Did I say everyone loved the tube? Cuz Ella LOVED the tube!! It was like her own little, water-filled gofer hole!!

We all had a lot of fun even if the wind was nasty and forced us home sooner than we would have liked. Brent and I were sunburned. We are really smart and forgot to put sunblock on. (Note sarcasm.)

All Sorts Of Stuff.....

2011-06-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

This is what Ella and I did the week I was sick. I was sssiiiiicccckkkkkk. Last week went down as a week in infamy in my life. It was horrible. Don't I look just lovely?

This is an old picture, hence the coat. What? A coat in Moapa Valley? I can't remember what that is like! Did I mention that regular Ashley dislikes the summer, but manages it? Well, pregnant Ashley HATES the summer.

Psycho Molly- No pictures please!! This is during her morning cat Olympics. She runs crazy circles around the house to release pent up energy.

Moderate success in potty training. You may be thinking- Isn't she almost three? YES... I wasn't worried about potty training until I got pregnant. Then I realized I did NOT want to be changing 2 sets of diapers, and I also realized Ella was getting kind of old. So after Christmas we started trying to figure things out. Flash forward 6 freaking months and we have finally made some achievements. Ella had some sort of block on potty training. We have been consistent for a week so I feel like we have achieved some success!! I am hoping I haven't spoke too soon and jinxed myself!!

Little Scarlet

2011-06-12T10:48:00.000-07:00

This is her little foot. I found this very cute little lady bug frame for it. Scarlet is going to have Ella's lady bug room and Ella got a new pink and yellow room. (More on that later)

Here is my last ultra sound. I get one every 2-3 weeks. I know that sounds like it should be exciting, and it is.....BUT going to the doctor every 2-3 weeks gets old. The bottom picture she is sucking on her little paws. Everything looks good they say!! Now I just have less than 18 weeks left until she gets here!!

My Reason's To Complain....

2011-06-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

Oh I have been complaining a lot! Most of them are trivial and not of much consequence, but complaining I still do.

In the middle of Monday night, Ella barfed all over me and my bed. A few hours later I was also besieged by the stomach flu. Again. Ella has seemed to over come the stomach ailment after just the one episode. I, however, took 2 days to fight it off and still feel unsettled.

Tuesday afternoon, as I lay on my couch, I realized that my terrible stomach pain was rolling down my belly rather periodically. I brushed it off. A few hours later I realized it was now wrapping around to my back. Hmmmm..... I started paying attention to the frequency of these pains and realized they were suspiciously appearing 15 minutes apart. Brent came home for the night, I took Tylenol and went to bed. I could hardly walk and the thought of a 30 minute car ride to the hospital sent me into a panic. In hind sight I was a little irrational, but labor did go away and I'm fine.... for the most part.

Wednesday dawned and I felt better. Ella told me her mouth hurt so I looked into her throat with a flashlight. Her tonsils were red and swollen. We headed to the doctor in Mesquite and the trip/warm doctor's office combination made me sick all over again.

Now I think I'm ok. I'm getting progressively ornerier and that is a sure sign of recovery! Ella is on antibiotic so hopefully she'll be better soon to.

So that is what I have to complain about today!!

Baby Shower

2011-06-06T07:50:00.001-07:00

My sister in law Amy is having her first baby and we are SOOOO excited for her!!!! The party was so much fun! Her cousin Lara threw it and she did an awesome job. She holding up a car seat cover. So cute!!

Mommy to be!.... With my daughter running through the picture. She needed a drink or something...... It was such a fun day! I am so excited for Amy and her new baby!!!

Unconditional Love

2011-06-01T11:37:00.001-07:00

Ella tucked all her stuffed animals into a little box and covered them up. Then she sang them a song and kissed each one good night. At Christmas time she asked me if Santa would bring Boots and Black Kitty a bed and a blanket for Christmas, and he did! So now Ella's animals all have a little place to sleep!!

Pictured left to right: Black Kitty, Giraffe, Elephant, Boots Monkey

At the Lake

2011-05-29T09:40:00.000-07:00

Ella thinks she is part fish! Even when she was shivering with cold, she refused to leave the water. She did so well kicking her feet and swimming. The beach was so clear and pretty. A little rocky for my tender feet, but they got used to it!!

Jack Jack. I told him to say cheese and he said, "Cheese pizza!!"

Ella's snack of choice. She got kind of territorial over these!

Jara bug in the cutest swimming suit ever!! I loved ruffle bums!

Ella doesn't like the wind in her eyes when the boat picks up speed. I let her wear my sunglasses so she could see. Doesn't her hooded cover up and life jacket make a wonderful combo?

She loves froggy floaty ring. He got some miles put on him!!! I forgot how much fun it is to go to the lake!! Especially with Ella! She LOVES the water. We start mommy and me swimming lessons in a few weeks and I think it will be the highlight of her summer!!

Ella and Her Crazy Ways

2011-05-25T19:20:00.000-07:00

She went into the baby's room and tried to put on all of her clothes. When I found her she informed me, "These clothes are too small!!"

After swimming, she likes to wear her froggy towel for a good hour. She loves it! She also loves to play Daddy's Ipod. Scary thing is: she's actually good at it!!

Her crazy tan. When she naked it looks like she has a little white swim suit on!!

The Desert Ground Hog

2011-05-22T16:19:00.001-07:00

Starting around the beginning of May, a rare creature appears in my house. The desert ground hog. Every morning she sticks her hand out the door to see how hot the air is outside. If it is only warm, she may venture out. If it is scorching hot, she retreats back into her lair and tests the temperature the next morning.

The ceiling fans are all spinning, the air conditioner is roaring, and the swimming pool is filled. I am sweltering already, as little Scarlet is trying her best to fry me. My feet are puffing up and I'm retaining water. Our bed is at sheet status. (No blankets, just one sheet to cover up with.) Brent asked if he needed to look for a second job so we could keep the house at 68 degrees this summer......and I thought about it!!! Ella has a crazy tan, and her hair is getting more blond.

Bad news?..... It's May, and I have a feeling I have a LONG summer ahead of me!!

* I'll show the crazy tan later. Good thing she didn't get her daddy's honkey white genes!! He just turns various shades of red.

My Mind Is Consumed!!!

2011-05-19T17:21:00.000-07:00

As every pregnant woman can probably attest to, I am CONSUMED by all thoughts baby!!

Will the baby come early?
If early, will it be TOO early?
Will labor be fast again?
Or will it be totally different?
Will I need a C section?
What if Brent's at work and it is a lot faster than last time? With Ella I was in labor for 5 hours and 1 minute. I remember because I looked at my phone, ready to call my mom and my water broke. It was 12:38 and Ella was born at 5:39.
So if it is faster, will Brent get home in time? He has to come in off the road, get out of uniform, and drive to Mesquite. My mom was only in labor for 2 hours with me!!
And if it is that fast will I not be able to have an epidural? This SCARES me. Yeah I know people have done it and choose to do it the natural way, but I am not one of those who wish to have the experience!!! AT ALL!!
And if I have an epidural, what if my legs stay numb forever?
Or what if it doesn't work?
Or what if it comes un-numb like it did with Ella? Thankfully it was only a little bit, and I needed it to let up a little or I couldn't feel to push.
What if it's too early and I have to be taken to Sunrise Hospital and have my specialist deliver me?
What if my mom & dad are in Canada at the time?

And the list goes on. Obviously the more I think about it the more panicked I get. And the more panicked I get the more hysterical I become!! I'd like to think I am not the only one who gets consumed and worried over every little thing, but am I? Does anyone else freak out like this!

Note* I have been posting more often because I'm BORED and my thoughts run away with me!!

Things I Would Do Different

2011-05-16T12:18:00.000-07:00

I read one of my blogging buddies blog about what she wished she would have know when having her first babies. I don't feel like I am entitled to claim such an opinion, as I am only on my 2nd child, (she's on her 4th) BUT I certainly know what I will do DIFFERENT!!!

Breast Feeding- I was very adamant that I was going to nurse exclusively. I even got upset with the nurses for giving Ella a bottle. Nursing is the best and I wanted the best for my baby! Well, flash forward 4 months...she had only gained 2 pounds from birth, had dropped dramatically in the percentile and was constantly crying. In hind sight, I realize this was because she was always hungry. I started supplementing, flooded with feelings of guilt. At 6 months she was done with me completely, and she preferred a bottle to me. This was because she was just starving and I was not giving enough for her.
Lesson learned? I will not be so narrow minded this time, and will feed my poor starving baby in the event history repeats itself!!! Of course I would rather nurse than anything else, but if it ain't happen' this time, I'll admit defeat!!
Sleeping in- I would drag myself out of bed at 7:30, no matter what time I went to bed, because I thought I needed to maintain some form of schedule no matter what.
Lesson learned? I will sleep half the time Brent has FMLA, (6 weeks!) and as much as possible until this baby is 3 months old!!
People touching the baby- This time I will just be flat out rude if yucky strangers try to touch my infant.
I will do whatever necessary to make my child sleep. Even if it is going for a car ride, walk, rocking or bouncing!
I'm very happy to be a home this time where our child's room is not in a dark, dank basement.
I am very happy to have one good cat and not 2 evil cats!
I like to envision my due date and focus my inner chi on when I will deliver. This time around I have envisioned a certain date that will put me around 37 weeks. Now I would like to clarify- I am not trying to have my baby EARLY. I am trying to keep it in there that long!!!
I am thoroughly convinced that this 2nd time around will be a little easier than the first time. We are still struggling with what to do with the first little angel we received!

So what are your lessons learned? What would you do different? Something that you think would just solve everything?

The Quiet Book

2011-05-13T17:46:00.000-07:00

The front cover. The purple button is just for show, it closes with a snap underneath.

The sun, cloud, rainbow colors and birdie are all removable with Velcro.

Rubber legged kitty cat.

Cookie jar, complete with a dozen cookies.

Tool box. There are other tools besides the ones showing but they are kind of ugly! So I hid them in the tool box!

Shapes. Under all the shapes I stitched the outline so she would know where to put them. Also attached with Velcro. (Everything is!)

Little monsters! Or amoebas. Also know as: left over felt, googly eyes, buttons and Velcro!

The big shoe. Big shoe is missing its laces. I still need to do little button holes and give it a lace so Ella can tie it.

Caterpillar. All his body segments come off.

And finally!! The barn. The little animals are finger puppets. Horse, cow, sheep, chicken, and pig. I thought I would add what they are because some people have had a hard time identifying the horse!!

I stole a lot (ok most) of my ideas from my blogging buddy Lauren!! She is an awesome, crafty girl!! The quiet book should make its 1st appearance on Sunday. Hopefully it does its job and keeps Ella QUIET.

Nobody Asked Me But.....

2011-05-11T19:15:00.000-07:00

I posted this same post a few days ago. When I went to post about the baby, I somehow inadvertently erased it. So I'm posting it again!! It will be from memory and I'm not sure I'll be able to remember it all, but I give it a try!

Our local newspaper runs a weekly column written by a man named Dr. Larry Moses. I like reading his ideas and opinions on every day matters. So I'm ripping off his idea for some of my format.

Nobody asked me but...... Cloth diapers are nasty. I am up to my neck in poop every day as it is, I don't need to be rinsing out said poop in the toilet. I don't care if I end up living in one big disposable diaper-filled landfill. I still wouldn't make the change.

Nobody asked me but...... 'Prolonged nursing' (or nursing after 12 months) is also gross. If your kid can run up to you, pat your boob and ask for a snack, it's time to wean people!! Your not proving anything to anyone by nursing your 3 year old!

Nobody asked me but...... Co-sleeping is dangerous. Sure put baby in your bed to nurse while you sleep, or for a few hours, or when they're sick. But all night long isn't the best choice. Ask my husband who has been on numerous calls of suffocated infants. Either by parents, siblings or pets.

Nobody asked me but.... Home births are also dangerous. I know my pioneer ancestors had a baby and trekked 30 miles across the plains the next day. But they also lost multiple children to birth complications and disease. If you don't want to bother with a doctor, or you don't like hospitals, fine. Go to a birthing center and make sure your mid wife knows what the hell she's doing.

Nobody asked me but.... If your kid is sick, take it to the doctor!!! I don't need my child sick because little Johnny was coughing, sniffling, puking or running a fever. Antibiotic were invented for a reason and so were immunizations! If not, half the countries populations would still be effected by polio. God bless penicillin or I would have died from strep throat years ago!!

Thanks for reading! The opinions expressed above are my own. I don't think this 2nd draft did the 1st one justice, but the idea is the same!

It's a.........

2011-05-02T09:00:00.001-07:00

I went to the specialist again today. I really do like both of my doctors very much, but doubling up on appointments makes for A LOT of trips to the doctor's office! I dread every one because I have "white coat hypertension". Which basically described is: I'm scared of doctors and going makes me stress out. But Dr. W and Dr. O are awesome! They are great men who are excellent at their jobs. They always answer all my questions, even when I bring a literal list to the appointment to ask!

Baby Bowler measure good. Looked good. Was kicking around like an angry little cat. And even measured a little big. 7 whole ounces! Two weeks ago, they told us they were %90 sure it was a GIRL and today they confirmed it!! We are having another girl!! I am very, very excited!! I WANTED another little girl SO much. I wanted to be able to use Ella's clothes, gear, shoes and general stuff again. I wanted to have more pink and bows and lace. And I DIDN'T want to get to experience 'boy parts' from a general upkeep kind of angle!! I know that's selfish, so I promised Brent that the next one could be a boy. :) If in the event I loose my mind and decide to be pregnant again. It's really hard on me... and my ego.

Crazy thing is: out of the 6 women in my family unit, of child bearing years, 4 are pregnant!! And so far 3 of us are having girls!! This little one will definitely have cousins to play with.

We have decided the name Scarlet. I haven't quite narrowed down a middle name yet. I named Ella after my mom's mom, Ruth. So we'll see where we go for little Scarlet. The only flaw in the plan is, if she is born with red hair (which is a possibility) she will not be named Scarlet. Because that is just cruel!! We will have to think of something else!!

Happy Easter!!! and some tramatic other stuff...

2011-04-26T12:52:00.001-07:00

We colored Easter eggs on Saturday. Ella loved it so much, she colored most of the eggs more than once! This resulted in some very unique shades!

Friday night I discovered a lump under Molly's chin. I know her pretty well and pet her a lot, so I knew it had just appeared out of know where! Sunday morning when we went to see what Easter bunny brought, Molly scratched and ruptured this huge puss and blood filled...THING! I had to give her a shower, hose her off with saline and hydrogen peroxide, and then attempted a band aid. She ripped it off, but the hole is healing nicely!! I think it was a festered up fox tail. She was tired and not playful while she had it, but now she's back to her crazy self!

Ella hunted eggs. She's seriously a pro egg hunter. She was cute finding them!! But......

Monday morning she woke fine. Happy. Excited to go to the Dr with mommy. Well, 14 vomiting episodes later, she refused to move, eat or do anything besides sip water and watch cartoons. And you better betcha I let her watch them all day! Now when I say 14 episodes, I don't mean she threw up 14 times but only spent maybe 4 actual trips to the bathroom. I mean 14 SEPARATE episodes that consisted of 3-5 blllaaahhhhhs a piece. Then I decided I was jealous and threw MY guts up for the first time in a decade. I forgot how truly horrible it is! Poor baby is wiped out.

This is Brent, so proud of his egg! She was not smiling, however when he was hosing off 2 blankets and 3 stuffed animals at 2am this morning. How so much come out of someone so small!? He has really been awesome. He's helped clean up A LOT of barf, waited on me hand and foot. He deserves and award, or at least a present!!

Fair Time & Farewell

2011-04-10T21:38:00.001-07:00

Ella LOVED pony rides!! She cried when I had to pry her off this tiny little horse. Isn't the worker in the back ground cute with his big smile!!

She loved goats!

She also LOVED the whale ride!! She laughed this crazy laugh of joy the whole time!! And kept yelling, "This is so fun!!"

I was worried Ella wouldn't want to go on the rides all by herself but I was wrong!!

On this one she kept yelling "I'm flying!!"

The Bowler Clan got together for one last hurrah before Nick and Bonnie leave on their mission. They go the 16th! Becca, Ella, Auntie Amy and Ethan.

Ella is in love with Uncle Grant, and I want to adopt Abby!! Ella loved her!! She was like an awesome big sister who wanted to play with her!

Elder and Sister Bowler. And Brent's big brother Nate. We're going to miss them!! But we're very excited for them to serve in Denmark. They are going to be wonderful!!

Ashley VS Ashley: An Epic Battle

2011-04-02T17:24:00.001-07:00

Regular Ashley(RA) vs Pregnant Ashley(PA)

RA- Up before 6am PA- Lucky to be up by 9am

RA- needed 6 hours of sleep PA- needs 12 hours of sleep

RA- ran 3-5 miles a day and enjoyed it PA- can't walk from one end of the house to the other

RA- NEVER drank soda or juice. Only water PA- can't get enough Squirt

RA- kept a really clean house and enjoyed cleaning PA- HATES cleaning and has slacked in a bad way

RA- was a slightly ornery, short patient, type A PA- is as mean as a snake

RA- cried when she was sad PA- cries all the time. Even when watching Tangled

RA- was really excited to get pregnant PA- IS really excited to be pregnant!! Although I complain about it!! :)

Repeat

2011-03-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

I've said this before, and I'll say it again.... I'm so sorry for all the girls out there who struggle with infertility. I think that would be the hardest thing in the world to have to experience. I can't imagine how much you have had to cry!! I just read a story about this young woman who tried for 5 years to conceive and tried IVF 3 times before she was able to get pregnant. What a hard journey!! The way she described the first time they tried, and it didn't work, was the most powerful, painful thing I have ever read/heard/seen/ comprehended in my entire life. It was open and well written, and completely heart wrenching!! It made me think of all I have to be grateful for!

So..........I would like to say, I am so thankful for Ella Ruth, even if she is crazy. Because she is also very smart and beautiful and sweet. I'm so thankful for our next little one, and I'm thankful for my Robison genetics that makes it so possible for me to get pregnant despite my little 'situations'. :)

Thank you

The Cat's Out Of The Bag!!

2011-03-17T09:21:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't heard....Brent and I are expecting baby #2 on October 14th! I thought I would rip off my sister's idea and do a little Q and A.

How far are you along? 10 weeks exactly
Have you been sick? Nope!! Just so extremely tired it's unnatural
What are you having? Too soon to know!
How do you feel? Like a fat tired cow! I'm pretty short, obviously, so there is little room for secrecy!!
Have you had any cravings? YES!! I think several cows have lost their lives these last few weeks. I just want meat and really juicy fruit. Think pineapple and melons.
Any food aversion? Bakery stuff. Breads, cake, pie, especially doughnuts.
Have you been to the doctor? Yep!! Twice!! I've been to my awesome OB and my specialist. He has all the cool equipment!

On the verge of giving out too much information, Brent and I weren't sure we were going to be able to have a baby #2. After a million tests and too many drugs, we discovered last fall that I have a few...situations! First: I have PCOS. If you do not know what this is, I'll give it to you in a nut shell! It basically makes you have too much of the wrong hormone, and your body goes haywire. In bad cases you turn into a man. Ok, not really not really. BUT you loose your hair, gain weight uncontrollable, possibly deepen your voice, and can give you terrible acne. SWEET!! This is awesome don't you think? It also makes it really hard to get pregnant. On the coat tails of this happy news, the same ultra sound revealed a septate (or septum) uterus. That means, it is divided by a muscle wall into 2 separate parts. Also hard to get pregnant, and gives an 85% chance of miscarriage. It also carries a high pre term labor rate. ALSO causes: swelling, bleeding, pain, etc. Yeah, I had a hard time with this awesome news and was terrified to even attempt getting pregnant again. But I really wanted another baby. So we hope for the best and sure enough!! We are now VERY EXCITED to welcome #2 into the world next fall!!

Sorry I gave all that crappy medical info. I just felt it need to be said. I had some really unkind people say some really stupid things to me when I gained 20lbs from one of the treatments I tried. I'm usually pretty private about this stuff, but I felt like maybe someone else out there needed to hear it. So there it is!! We are SO EXCITED and I am so happy. Hopefully we'll know next month some time what color the new room needs to be!!

Home Improvement

2011-03-14T16:43:00.000-07:00

There has been a flurry of activity at the Bowler house hold. First, I decided it was time to paint the hall bathroom. It went from dingy, nasty pink TO.... slightly brighter pink. Well, at least it's fresh!

We are also in the middle of putting up a long awaited fence. It has been quite the process! This is Brent, Nick and Nathan marking out where the posts will go. This weekend we are going to auger the holes, cement in the poles and stretch the chain link. Holy expensive work!!

My front door was bland and the paint was beginning to chip off. So I painted it. Isn't it stunning?! Sometimes I go outside, go to the street and just stand and look at its beauty. (It used to be the same color as the trim. )

Brent was digging many, many holes for all the many, many flowers I purchased for the front beds. As he was digging a particularly deep hole for my new pink jasmine, he encountered this monster!! It took him 15 good minutes and several shovels to pry it from the ground! Of coarse I had to have the hole RIGHT there. :)

My beautiful pink jasmine. I love it. In the back ground you can see the new arbor I bought to go over our walk way. We are hoping to encourage the jasmine to gleefully crawl its way up the metal. It smells SOOOOO good.

*More to come on other paint jobs, the finished fence and the rest of the flowers!!

Molly's Top Three

2011-03-03T16:14:00.000-08:00

These are the top 3 things that Molly, our cat, hates to hear. Said by Ella:

#3 "Kitty calm down! You're too fast!"

#2 "Kitty I smash you!!"

#1 "Oh kitty!! I have a net!!"

Molly's days of being wide eyed and innocent are over.

My Sweet Sweet Beautiful Nightmare

2011-03-01T19:07:00.000-08:00

This darling little girl is going to be the death of me!! Over the holiday season, I slacked off on my role as 'the pack leader of our family' and my oh my I'm suffering. The amount of ignoring me, screaming temper tantrums that could shock a demon, anger and sheer stubbornness has been enough to make the devil sit down and sigh. I appealed to my sister with all of my woes, and she recommended a book entitled Love and Logic Magic. She even let me borrow a copy! I read a few chapters, disheartened and low on faith. But decided to give it a try. I figured it couldn't be worse than the insanity I was experiencing! And low and behold it worked. My little demon is currently slumbering away, and I have a whole 2-3 hours of private time. (Insert angelic singing here)
Now usually I don't find the need to go by books. I think of them as maybe guidelines more than rules. And some of them I think are just stupid. But seeing as how at this point, I am willing to trade my sister my child for BOTH of hers, I thought something must be working on the Wheeler end!!
So thank you to my sister for the help. And thank you Ella bug for being semi agreeable for the first time in your little life! Amen! Holy crap! Where's the Tylenol!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

2011-02-15T08:38:00.000-08:00

Brent gave me these gorgeous fire and ice roses! And my favorite candy, gobstopper hearts. I seriously should buy these in bulk because they only come around once a year! Like the elusive cadburry egg.

He also gave me 3 balloons. I love balloons! (You may realize there are only 2 in this picture.)

Ella claimed the 3rd one as hers. It is currently floating around the house and pops up in random rooms.

I like Valentine's Day!! I think it is currently a disliked holiday. I think it is considered chic or popular to shun a day of love. Probably by people who are alone!! Or cheap. Well, I am not alone and I love my husband, and I love celebrating our love together!!

Happy Valentine's Day!! I hope everyone had a good one!!

Super Bowl Sunday

2011-02-07T22:49:00.000-08:00

We laughed a lot. We talked a lot. We ate a lot.

Jed serving himself while Jordan hides.

Jack, Joshlyn, and my Mom between commercials... I mean... plays!!

Chelsey was the only one who would smile for me!!

This little black beauty is Holly! She is my mom and dad's new lab puppy. She's so cute. She was mauled to death at the party.

Ella and Jara watched Finding Nemo instead of football!!

Make Your Little Kitty Self At Home!!

2011-02-04T22:04:00.001-08:00

Oh how Ella loves Molly. And although Ella mauls her to pieces, she is still so nice to Ella! Isn't that the face of pure love?

My bed is a big NO zone. Especially my pillow for goodness sake!! But she thinks if she is sneaky enough I won't catch on.

But I do!! I find her and I boot her unceremoniously from her the forbidden spot!

This is her "What?" face. Like she has no idea why I might be upset with her furry little butt on my pillow!!