I am thankful for....

• My parents
• My siblings, their spouses and their children
• My husband
• My children
• The gospel
• My country
• Peace
• Love

I hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving!! On to Black Friday!!

Family Picture OVERLOAD!!

I hate taking pictures!! So does Brent. So does Ella. And so does Scarlet!!

But every year when the Christmas cards need to be ordered, I force my family into coordinating outfits and have my sister document our family!! We are all terribly UN photogenic!! But we tried, so here ya go!!

 

 Ella Ruth

 

 Profile

 

 Ella and Daddy

 

 Picking all of my Aunt's flowers!!

 

Cheeser smile!!

 

 Bright sunny girl

"I had fun once. It was terrible."

 I'm going to hide from the lady with the camera under my mommy's chair.

 Highly suspicious.

 

 Strike a pose!!

 I will grace you with a small smile...now go away.

 

 Hey, we don't look that ugly in this one!!

 

No one is crying, cross eyed or glaring.

Happiness

 Partners in crime

Out takes!! Ella just licked Brent's face!!

Smiley baby in black and white

 

Sister took off. Just the baby!!

Gingerbread House

I asked Brent to not take any unflattering pictures.....nice.

Ella was begging and pleading to do a gingerbread house. I could either put her off for a few more weeks and endure the constant begging, or just put the thing together. I was worn down. She won!!

 

 

 Apparently Brent thought me pulling my hair back was an unforgettable moment!! And Ella blinking!! Why did I put this up?

 We usually use frosting for gingerbread house, but this year I hot-glued that mother!! It actually stayed together this time!!

 Ella was so meticulous. She also made sure she used ALL the candy!!

 Ella likes to curl up with me at night. Brent works late so I am fine with that as long as she is quiet and holds still. It's easy to move her and she isn't dependant on being in there, as long as she keeps it that way, she's welcome!!

Molly loves to lay by Ella. I think she just wants her soft blanket!!

Scarlet in her 'walking hat'. It is cold in the morning when I go for my walk so we have to be properly outfitted!!

Here's MY weight loss story

I was hesitant to write this because it seems like every time I check a blog lately, I’m treated to someone patting themselves on the back. That’s great for them and all, but sometimes I just roll my eyes. I hate….maybe hate is a strong word…. I strongly dislike……constant bragging. When I read a success story and that person tells everyone that if they would just try, and worked hard, and ate right, they could lose weight too. If they don’t then they just aren’t trying hard enough. That always brings a scoff to my lips!! Cuz let me tell you what!! I try VERY hard. I am comfortable in saying I probably try harder than the average person, and it IS NOT EASY. I can do what everyone else does and it isn’t effective for me. And I know I’m not alone.

So that is why I’m writing my ‘success story’. Because I want everyone out there who just couldn’t take another day of damn vegetables, or who cried themselves to sleep at night because they were so hungry, or who had to sit and watch their friends and family eat cake in front of them, or who eats less than their thin friends but is still bigger, to know that it is HARD. It is hard, and it doesn’t work the same way for everyone, and that SUCKS. It’s frustrating, and emotional. And guess what? I can’t even say to never give up. I’m sorry, I can’t!! I have given up many times. I have come home from running with legs that are aching so badly, tears are in my eyes, and I have thrown my running shoes in the closet and left them there for weeks.

I recently went to a Pilates class. (which by the way, I love) I was feeling discouraged that day anyway, so I was already set up for negative feelings!! I sat down and we all started our work out. I began to look around and realized, of the other 6 women in the class, I was the BIGGEST one. Every. Single. Women. Was a size 2 or less. I asked myself, how am I ever going to measure up to that? I can work as hard as I can but I am NEVER going to have legs so thin they don’t touch!!

I finished my class, went home, cried my eyes out and ate icecream.

Now there is good news to this story. I woke up the next morning and went for a walk with my mom. I related my despair to her with much swearing and grinding of teeth. But as I said it out loud, I realized something; my legs are NEVER going to NOT touch each other. But this time, I realized, that was ok. Because MY body is just NOT built that way. I had found my inner peace. It took a LONG time for this to somehow click into to place. And it was NEVER going to click into place until I was ready for it. So a few days later, I went back to Pilates. I laughed with my friends and I was happy that they were there to improve themselves. Would I force feed them brownies on a bad day? Yep. But that’s a whole different story.

I don’t do crazy cleanses or cut out sugar or carbs. Because guess what? I LOVE SUGAR AND CARBS AND I WILL NEVER EVER GIVE THEM UP. I won’t because I LOVE them and I don’t want to!! I probably could for a small amount of time, but I will never do it permanently.

AND I love red meat and potatoes.

Good news is: I also love fruits and vegetables. I do not like soda.

 

In conclusion, after 10 months of hard work, I have officially lost my baby weight. I lost 30 pounds. I had lost 27 pounds as of June 18^th, snapped after having not lost a SINGLE POUND SINCE APRIL, and went on an eating binge/ scathing exercise protest for 2 months, and gained half it back and had to start over in August. (Holy run on sentence! Hey, I ain’t no English major!)

I am very happy to be at this place. I am happy my clothes fit. I’m happy I’m not uncomfortable or even more insecure than I already am!! Were all those damn miles I ran worth it? I can’t with complete confirmation say yes. I can say that I’m glad they were effective. I’m glad they made me feel better. But in all honesty, if I didn’t have to run, I wouldn’t. It hurts. It’s hard. It’s either cold or hot. It takes time. Time away from my family and my home. But I am grateful that I have a functioning body that is, for the most part, healthy. I’m grateful for my husband, who gets rousted from his sleep so I can get out before it’s too hot to go. I’m grateful for support and kindness.  

I would like to tell everyone out there who is frustrated, and discouraged, and angry-

Power on sister!!

Hate those skinny bitches!! Hate nasty diet food!! Hate weight watchers!! Throw those stupid shoes and refuse with righteous indignation to not go to class for a night!! Give up for a day or a week. I do not suggest any longer than that, as I can attest to you the work is only that much harder. But don’t quit.

We are out here!! We are discouraged and frustrated!! We understand and we will listen!! We will hate with you!! Roll your eyes at that stupid girl!!

Celebrate success!! Even if success is “I only ate 10 cookies instead of 20!!” or “I walk down the chip aisle at Lin’s and I did not buy anything” or “I went for a walk today when I really didn’t want to.”

But  most importantly: find your inner peace. It is HARD to find inner peace. HARD. And no one can do it for you, or make you do it. And some times that inner peace leaves or gets lost. Find it again. Find it and hold on to it a little bit longer this time.

 

"I have missed over 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I have been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." Michael Jordan

Happy Halloween!!

I had to do trick or treating alone this year. One of the draw backs of Brent's job is that he doesn't get the day off if it's a holiday. He has to work Thanksgiving this year too. :(

Good news is, he will have Christmas off for the first time since he started at HPD!!

We are VERY excited!!

 

 

 Me and my little peacocks. I was supposed to be a gypsy. My ears make me look like an elf!!

I wish I had a really good picture of the back of Ella's costume so everyone could see her tail feathers. It was hard to get her to hold still this long though!!

 

 I think Ella looks like her Uncle Grant in these pics. Any other Bowler's out there agree with me?!

 

 



 We had a really good time. It was a little late for Scarlet but she did her best. And Uncle Jed did his best carrying her heavy little self around!! We now owe him a free visit to the chiropractor!!

 

This year, my little niece and nephew went with us down our street. It was a lot of fun having a little herd of children who were all so excited!! Children make things so fun!! 

What a Weekend!!

This weekend has been BUSY!! My niece and nephew had their big birthday bash and Brent's parents came home from their mission in Denmark!! Lots of food, family and over stimulation!!

 

 

 Ella at the costume party. Daddy was horrified at how well she swung around that swing set pole!!

 Scarlet the peacock. Can you tell how excited she is?

 Back of Ella's costume. Those little feathers were not hard, just tedious. Especially if you have to obsessively try to make them exactly the same!!

 Finally willing to smile a little. Why? Because someone is carrying her around. That is all she wants to do lately!!

 Me with my flock. My brother, the animal biologist, informed me that because my daughters were female, they were actually peaHENS. That by dressing them in blue with vibrant feathers I was having them cross dress. Only BOY peacocks have bright feathers......

 

 

 

On to the Homecoming!!!

 Scarlet is "helping" make signs. It mostly consisted of chewing on the marker.

 Brent waiting with his brothers.

Jeff, Jody, Nate, Brent, Grant

The plane was really late and we were early, so we waited a LONG time!!

 But they finally came!!

 I was teary eyed as I took this picture. Amy had to go through her whole pregnancy, the birth of her first child and a whole year of her baby's life with out her mom!!

Seeing Elsie finally get to meet her was really sweet.

 Jeff and Bonnie

Nick with a horde of grandchildren.

 

Welcome home Elder and Sister Bowler!! Everyone is excited to see you again!! 

Cat Prayers

As Ella is observing Molly sleeping at the foot of my bed.

Ella: "Mommy? Why are Molly's paws all folded like that?"
Me: "I don't know, sweetie. She's just sleeping."
Ella: "Is she praying?"
Me: "Sure!! She can pray if she wants to."
Ella: "She probably should. She's a naughty kitty." Strokes Molly's head. "Molly, say your cat prayers!!"

A little while later:
Ella: "Mommy? If Molly says cat prayers, what does she ask for?"
Me: "Whatever she needs."
Ella: "I bet she asked for Daddy to clean her box. You asked him 3 times today and he hasn't."
Me: "At this point, I think that's what it's going to take!!"
Ella: "Maybe I should pray for it too!!"
Me: "Good idea sweetie."


4 year olds are fun!!