The Specialist

I am usually, by nature, a very private person. I don't like to share all my drama and struggles. Not because I'm secretive. I just figure no one wants to hear about it!! The exception to these intendencies is my hormone/ reproductive system problems. I wonder if people wonder why I would be so open, to the point of posting it on here for all to see, about something that is so especially private.

Two reasons:

I feel the need to explain myself.

I want to protect myself.

 

With all the nasty problems I suffer from comes equal if not great nasty side effects. The one I hate the most is weight gain. I can easily gain 20 pounds in an 8 week period. Or 8 pounds in a week long period. Some of you may not believe this. You may believe it's gluttony that brings me to such a state. Or laziness. Or I'm exaggerating.

I'm not.

 

My body does not tolerate or metabolize insulin the way it is supposed to. Most people who suffer from diabetes have insulin problems that stem from their PANCREAS. That is not my case. My insulin intolerance comes from my OVARIES. 

 

 

I went to my new specialist yesterday. I have been putting off this appointment since last July. I hate doctors. I hate tests and the same questions over and over and over with little to no improvement. But I decided it was time to bite the bullet and see what he had to say.

I'm not going to go through the whole mess that we discussed. I just don't want to talk about it. Not in a dramatic, secretive way. Or that I am vying for attention.

I don't even have it sorted out in my head yet, I'm not capable of explaining it. It was incredibly over whelming.

The 3 most upsetting things we discussed have lurked in my mind for the last 24 hours. Interestingly, or pathetically, enough, these things aren't even technically medically related.

 

1. NO. MORE. SUGAR. EVER

I starred at my doctor and I felt like he had just told me my sibling had died. I felt denial and panic and an overwhelming urge to just cry my eyes out right there. He assured me I did NOT have to follow a diabetic diet. Diabetics are allowed ZERO fruit. I would have walked out of that office right then and let myself just get fat, hairy and die before I was going to live my life trying to avoid fruit. I have to abandon sugar in the un-natural from. No candy, chocolate, cookies, cakes, pie, icecream, etc etc.

I love sugar. Maybe to a point where I may or may not be mildly addicted to it......FINE!!! I LOVE THAT NASTY SHIT AND I AM FULL ON OBSESSED WITH IT AND I SHOULD BE IN REHAB!!

Yep, that's right. I love food. I love junk food. I love meat and carbs and sugar. I've never denied that, and I TRY VERY HARD to eat healthy and be careful. But I have periods of my life where I eat a lot more of it than the average human should.

 

2. Limit carbs to 1-2 times a week.

This is hard as well, because you would amazed at the stuff that carbs in it!!

My diet must now consist of lean protein, fruits, veggies and dairy.

And some of you may be thinking, "Isn't that how EVERYONE should eat?"

NO. It is not. If I eat carbs or sugar, my body can't properly break them down. So instead of them being digested and excreted, they surge through my blood and can't filter out. They are just stuck there until they're diluted and absorbed and finally just thin out and disappear. So a piece of birthday cake doesn't leave me the next day. It leaves me 10 days later. All the sugar can't break down so my fat cells grab it and hang on!! That piece of cake won't effect the average persons weight. I'll gain 3 pounds. From one piece of cake. Now imagine if I eat pasta and then cake. And then have a muffin for breakfast the next morning. All that sugar has no where to go but fat cells.

If I eat like the average person, I will rapidly gain weight that I will not be able to get rid of.

This goes back to what I said before. I put this out there to explain and protect myself. If I shoot up 20 pounds in 2 months. It's not always because of being lazy. It's because I ate like a regular person for a week or so.

 

3. NO jeans

The imbalanced hormones in my......lower regions. Make it a yeast FACTORY. Anything remotely tight or unbreathable is like vagina suicide. If those infection get bad, they travel up my......stuff......and get nice and comfy in my uterus. It hurts. It burns. It itches. I run a low fever and can't sleep, but I'm so lethargic. It's painful. I associate the feeling to mild contractions.

Denim is too thick and restricting. Even if I bought loose jeans, the fabric is just too thick and can't breath. Pantyhose are the other no no.

I don't want to wear athletic pants every day, and slacks are a little classy for the park!! I haven't came to a solutions to this yet, but I have a feeling Kohl's is going to help!!

I'm explaining myself so everyone doesn't think I've gone totally off the deep end fashion wise, or have become a slob and only wear sweat pants.

 

I'd like to thank anyone who made it to the end of this long freaking post. It is a lot of boring information that no one probably cares about. But like I said before, I feel a need to explain myself so that everyone will understand and have mercy in their hearts and not judge me as I battle through this mortal struggle. 

 

I am sensitive about this subject. Not so much that an accidental comment will hurt me. I understand that sometimes the wrong thing is said in complete innocence. I just feel the need to explain to satisfy my own anxiety over the whole ordeal.

Motherhood is a raw deal!!!

I love my children and I love being a mother. I worry about my little girls and routinely feel inadequate to be their mother. But I try!! Today I realize that it is more fun to be DADDY than Mommy!!

As a mother I am in charge of:

 

1. Nutrition

2. Manners

3. Sleep routines

4. Cleanliness

5. Education

6. Time limited in front of the TV!!

7. Getting them dressed in clothes that match and getting their hair done.

8. Instilling a love of the gospel

9. Discipline

10. Nurturing talents

11. Hygiene

 

And NUMEROUS other every day things. And that's fine, I enjoy nurturing my children. But then Daddy gets home and it's all fun and games!! They eat pizza for breakfast and watch cartoons all day and don't read their books. They are stinky and dirty and their clothes don't match!! Discipline is in the form of bribery!!

I love my husband very much. He is a wonderful father and a good man. Ella and Scarlet love being with him and miss him everyday. He is our calm amongst the storm. But it is just not fair that I don't get to be the fun one once in a while!!!

 

 When Daddy's in charge, lunch consists of jerky (yes, for my 18 month old!!) cool ranch Doritos, and chocolate milk. All the while watching Wreck it Ralph!!

 

 



Happy Valentine's Day!!!

We had some unfortunate presents that we did not expect this year.

Brent got the horrible flu that we all had last month. I thought he had dodged it, but alas, he did not.

He had even taken off 2 extra days and we had a whole fun filled week planned.

Imagine my disappointment when the week was spent laying on the couch watching TV instead.

 

It was probably a good thing, because I got a PELVIC INFECTION. For those of you unfamiliar with pelvic infections, I hope you NEVER have to become FAMILIAR with them. Let's just say it's a good thing I was only required to lay around all week. The pain, swelling and other irritations were depressing to say the least!!

 

Enough complaining!!

 

 Ella got this pretty new "wiggle" for Valentine's Day. She proudly wore it to her school party.

 

 



 

Brent was a very generous husband and spoiled me!! I am SO SO SO excited for my new Vitamix!!

I have always wanted one and knew I would use it a lot!! His sister got one for Christmas and I was telling him all about how amazing they were.

He looked it up online with plans to surprise me, and saw how much they were......he threatened to not let Amy and I play together anymore!!

He obviously is blowing smoke though, because here it is!!

He also booked me a facial last week.

Ohhhhhh......if I'm ever rich (which I doubt I will ever be) I want one of those once a week!!

 

 



Scarlet got these little bows. She refused to hold still for a picture so Ella modeled them.

2 pink, 2 black, 2 red. And sparkly!!

 

 



Ella also got some heart bracelets. She's been really into her accessories lately!! I like that she's girly. If that changes, I'm fine with that too. But for now it is so fun!!

She is in a really fun age right now where she understands holidays and gets excited, but is easily pleased with $0.97 bracelets and a new skirt!!

ZUMBATHON!!!

 

ZUMBATHON!!!

I don't even know where to begin to describe Zumbathon!! First, let's say it isn't for the faint of heart!! 2 solid hours of cardio is hard core!! I figured out it is the equivalent of a 10 mile run. Except with jumping and arm waving (flailing if your me) and booty shaking!!

I went with a group of 10 ladies and we were LITERALLY the only white chicks there!! Which is only remarkable because I have never experienced that before!! To literally be a minority where even the MC spoke in a different language!!

 

The energy was amazing!! I felt more uninhibited than I do in our valley class. The Latina ladies didn't care if they messed and up, and didn't care if I messed up. And I didn't care if I stood there totally confused because I didn't know them!! We were all just there to get our groove on and support a good cause.

 

I have to admit, when Annie started her class in 2010 I didn't want to go. Not because I don't like her or dancing, just because I'm introverted and a gathering of people I might have to socially interact with didn't sound like fun!! I went mainly just to get my sister off my back from bugging me. And I am SO SO SO glad I did!! I have loved it from the start!!

 

 Said relentless sister and her friend Brandi.

 

 Me and my sister. I was considered the spy of the group as I blended in the best!!

 

 Annie and Becky.

Annie taught a couple of songs and she was awesome!! Totally killed it!!

We made her stand in front of us so we could still kind of watch her when she got to participate. Watching her was like watching a duck released from captivity into water. She was in her element!!

 

 This is a poor picture. But this is the room from the very back.

We were shoulder to shoulder. It was so close and at first I thought I'd have too many people in my personal bubble!! But it was great!!

 

 This is most of the group that was from the valley. A couple more came after the picture and I didn't get an "after" picture.

I should have because I was DRENCHED in sweat!! It was embarrassing!! I looked like a guy after a football game!!

My sports bra was soaked through and so was my thin shirt.

 

Another shot of the room.

It was so awesome. I loved the energy and the vibe of the whole night. I hit my wall about an hour and 15 minutes in. But rallied after I drank a protein shake!!

But my 2nd wind only lasted about 30 more minutes and then I was done. I could just not lift my legs to do another jumping jack!! I was starting to get uncoordinated!!

 

It was a great night and I'm so glad I got to go. I got to spend time with my sister and got to know a couple of new ladies that are really awesome people!!

My Favorite Beauty Treats

My SIL did this post a few weeks ago and it inspired me to do one of my own!!

I fight a vigilant battle with my complexion and these are a few of the things that help it.

 

Doterra's 'Clear Skin'. I use it for spot treatment and it is awesome!! It burns like crazy when it first goes on, but eases off quickly. I feel like it just speeds up the life cycle. So instead of a nasty zit popping up for 2 weeks, it only last about 3 days.

 Moroccan Oil. A bottle this size will last me 18-24 months. I use one pump every day. It makes my hair SMOOTH. I have frizz head so it is much appreciated!! And it smells good!!

 

 I use Proactive products in the morning but my skin is so dry it needs something hydrating in the evening. I use Clinique wash and toner, and frost this stuff on like I'm a cake!! I add 2 drops of Melalueca and 2 drops of Frankincense to help with acne.

 

 I go this at Lin's for about $10. I take 2 a day and my nails and hair are thinker and stronger. They are huge!! But with all the other vitamins I take, I'm getting good at washing them down!!

 

 Every morning, the 1st thing I do is drink 8 ounces of cold water with 1 tbsp of lemon juice mixed in. It is not as sour as you think it might be!! It's tart and refreshing!! Lemon juice is an awesome antioxidant and cleans out the urinary tract, and the glands. It's also an appetite suppressant.

 

I struggle with sleeping. There are days I will wake up at 1 or 2 in the morning and never go back to sleep for the day. This doesn't help me sleep or anything but it smells so good!! Brent got it for me for Christmas. The scrub is amazing!! I like to use it after my evening fitness classes to scrape all the sweat and grime off me.

 

If anyone has any of their own secrets to share, SHARE THEM!! I love getting new ideas and finding new stuff that improves my skin, hair, lifestyle.....everything!!

January Condensed!!

I would have posted sooner but blogger was being a NIGHTMARE!! I finally out smarted it!!

January has been busy!! Interestingly enough, those busy things weren't anything important. Just every day stuff!! Ella went back to school and has been playing and doing pretty well in our own little lessons.
This month has been focused A LOT on Scarlet and trying to help her find some form of joy in life!! She has been FUSSY for about 6 months and we all thought we were going to find the nearest kennel to drop her off!!

 We discovered she LOVES this giraffe. He used to be mine. My brother gave him to me for my 16th birthday. He goes every where.

 I bought these to make me feel better about the incessant fussing.
New shoes give me patience!!

 REALLY loves the giraffe!! Next to her you can see my fabulous Christmas purse.

It was freaking cold!! This isn't even accurate!! It was even colder than this!!
Which, I loved!! I love the cold. I can say that because I live HERE as apposed to Minnesota or some other frigid state.  

 Scarlet LOVES food. All food. Anything not protected. We went to Lost City Museum for Saturday afternoon and all she needed was a bowl of pretzels.
We liken Scarlet to the Pintrest "Grumpy Cat". She always has a scowl.
This is her "City is lost? Good." face.

 Ella in the pueblo. I am amazed at how the natives lived!!

 I also bought these to make me feel better. Forget what anyone says, money does buy happiness!!
In the form of leather boots!!

 Did I mention Scarlet loves food? Brent looked away. He lost his chicken!!

We are very happy to report: Scarlet is FINALLY walking!! She will still crawl when she wants speed, but is making the transition to mainly walking. I am estimating by the end of the month, give or take a week, she will be relying primarily on walking. That only took 17 months!! Ho-leeee crap.

Did I mention it was cold!? Ella burrito!! I love my sleeping children. So precious!!

A Brand New Year!!

 

 

I did not make resolutions this year. I hardly ever follow through with them and the thought of having to stick to something for an entire year is daunting!!

So this year I decided to issue myself a 31 day January challenge!!

 

I decided I want to waste less. When I make PB & J sandwiches for the girls, I cut off Ella's crusts and throw them away. I make Scarlet a half of a sandwich and she only eats maybe half of that before she's worn out or bored.

 

 

 

Today I conserved by giving Scarlet an ample amount of crust from Ella's sandwich!!

 

And Ella got a slightly slimmer sandwich. She doesn't finish it all anyway and today she did!!

Yay for one of my challenges!!

 



I also wanted to start spending more time outside, weather permitting.

Today we spent 30 minutes on the back porch, watching one of the Hardy boys mow the field. Riveting!!

 

 

 I want to start spending more time together as a family, NOT in our living room. I want to get out of the house.

We rode bikes for Family night.

 

 

 Scarlet cruised in the cozy coup. Which helped out another challenge of staying active. I took the month of December off from fitness. I was sore, tired and my whole house hold was under siege by illness. Both girls had the stomach flu, although I thank them for having it separate with a few days in between for me to mentally recover!! I had a cold. But I'm a big whiny wuss when it comes to head colds. I'd rather have the stomach flu!!

 

 

 More of my personal challenges are:

*Only use the computer in the evenings, after my kids have gone to sleep.

*Say family prayers.

*Wear make up at least 5 days a week. I have super sensitive skin so this might be a hard one. Plus I never go anywhere so it's hard to waste make up on nothing!!

*Start doing school lessons with Ella. Today we worked on telling time!

Above is our new cat. He's not really ours. He's a mangy stray that I started to feed and now he hangs around. He's a fluffy one!! We call him Lion Cat.

 

 

 

And my last personal challenge is to learn to let go of anger. I have a quick temper and have no problem letting others know about it!! I used to be really good at counting to ten before I spoke my mind. Lately, not so good!!

So..... I HATE the desert. But if I didn't live in the desert, I wouldn't get these beautiful roses in mid-December. Everything else is stone dead, but these babies just keep fighting the fight!!