I Go To Therapy

Last November I had enough of trying to fight a bout of depression I was going through. I had tried pharmaceuticals and they had yielded no results. Plus they had unpleasant side effects.  I decided to turn to therapy to help combat my struggles. The therapist I have been seeing works in a large mental health facility filled with dozens of doctors. On my first visit I met with the head doctor in charge of the clinic so we could determine my needs and how best to meet them.

The first thing he asked me was what I expected to get out of therapy and what my expectations were for a doctor.
I was very direct. I did not want a doctor who validated me. Yes I wanted support. But I did not want validation for selfish decisions in the name of mental health. I didn’t want to be justified in being constantly sad or a miserable cow. I wanted someone to tell me that while it was ok to have those feelings, I could NOT dwell on them or BLAME someone else for them. I also very firmly told him I would in NO way leave my family or my religion in an effect to make life easier.

I was matched with a wonderful therapist named Dr. R. I have enjoyed my experience with him the last 10 months. He has helped me discover who I am and helped me find peace. I have not placed blame on others or sought solitude. I have learned to work through hard times and seek peace and comfort and understanding.

I decided to write something simple about my experience because therapy and mental health isn't taken serious. I feel like, if someone is suffering from depression, others around them don’t understand why they just can’t “get over it”. Sometimes it’s not that easy. I do not think depression should be used as a crutch or blame for one’s desire to take advantage of friends and family, or lash out in anger or sadness. But I also think it is real and should be treated like any other serious disease. I write these few simple paragraphs to encourage those who may be struggling to not be embarrassed, to seek peace, and to look for help. I also ask those who are not familiar with the pain of depression, to not judge others harshly. I go to therapy to cleanse my spirit and discover the joy in my heart. I'm not crazy. Going to therapy does not make one crazy. Not going and being horrid and/or miserable and/or depressed and/or angry is crazy.

I’m grateful I have had the opportunity to work with Dr. R. He is a very wise man and has been able to help dig out subconscious confusion and shed light on the fear that feeds on darkness. The more light that shines forth, chases away the shadows, and helps heal a tired soul.