I Got 99 Problems.........

And

THESE

are two of them.

 

 Molly is a cat who doesn't know how to cat.

She doesn't play.

Not even a laser light!!

She doesn't cuddle.

She doesn't do ANY kind of pest control.

Doesn't. Even. Try.

 

 Chase is a cat who is TOO much of cat!!

He attacks EVERYTHING.

Feet too close to the edge of the bed,

little girl hair slightly moving from the fan,

treasured stuffed animals.

He tries to lay on the counters!!

Then I have to spray him with the squirt bottle,

and Lysol the counter.

But he doesn't seem to learn!!

 



Exhibit A.

I left paper towels on the counter.

And dared to leave the house.

They were Viva!!!

 

And I could handle their cat drama

IF

THEY. COULD.GET. ALONG.

Chase chases Molly wanting to play,

and she turns around and reacts aggressively.

 

Molly hides outside all day, and when I force her in the house at night

SO SHE DOESN'T GET EATEN BY WILD LIFE,

my entire evening is a constant barrage of hissing, spitting, and growling.

 It wakes me up in the middle of night!!

 

2437 hisses and 3 months later.

Still not friends.

 

Get a kitten I said.

It'll be fun I said.

Molly will get used to him I said.