Lessons learned from Granny

I was reading my sister's reminice about my Granny's eternal ham and thought I should share some of the many gems of wisdom that my Granny taught me.

Lesson #1 Any house hold item can be used as a weapon! Examples: Woodenspoons, frying pans, brooms (as my unfortunate uncle Russell can atest to), wallets, shoes, books, and the occassional pillow.

Lesson#2 Wasp killer can be used to depose of birds who nest in awnings.

Lesson#3 Granny claimed to be partially blind in one of her eyes... until you are spotted wearing a halter top in Lin's from 100 yards away, then she was like and eagle! Lesson learned? Beware of your surroundings.

Lesson#4 Sacrement meating is enjoyable as long as it DOES NOT exceed the allotted time limit.

Lesson#5 No one should curse or swear because it is filthy and vulgar. Unless of coarse it is Granny herself, then it is perfectly acceptable.