Tuesday, February 23, 2010

87 Suzuki Memories

When my sister was senior in high school, I was a freshman. She had the unappealing task of taking me to early morning seminary. She drove and 87 Suzuki Samurai. Now this little thing hardly ever made it to seminary. Somehow, we found ourselves taking "the road less traveled by" and wound up with doughnuts and orange juice, 35 minutes late to seminary.
Now, what prompted me to bring up such memories? I passed one on the road today!! It sent a torrent of memories flooding through my brain that I thought I should share.
1. Running down Dustin Nelson in the parking lot. For some reason, my sister would get this wicked gleam in her eye and the car just accelerated when we saw him walking from the church. I actually think she got him once.

2. Getting our mix tape melted into the cassette player, so we could only listen to the same 5 songs over and over and over....and over again. One more rendition of "Every breath you take" and it was going to be the last breath P. Diddy ever took!! I still can't listen to that song.

3. Having Dave Cameron throw pie at us. I think it was the only time the thing got washed. My sister flew into a terrifying rage and launched herself out of the vehicle. Dave scrambled back to his Geo and was trying desperately to roll up the manual window, that stuck and had to be held in place once it was up. Hence the reason it was always down. He's screaming in fear, as she hurdles Brianna Shirley's Saturn. He abandons the window and holds the door closed as she tries to get in to kill him. I'm still not sure why Dave, the 6 foot 200 pound wrestler was so afraid of my 99 pound sister. Maybe it's because she has freakishly strong upper body strength when provoked.

4. Above mentioned Saturn owner always stealing our freaking parking space.

5. Talking crap about everybody that walked by, not realizing that the soft top was NOT sound proof. I think Andy Stokes took the brunt of this defect.

6. And Finally: The tail pipe fell off and my dad decided to bailing wire it on. Oh yeah. It still had the indecency to come loose and fall off. Probably because it had NO shocks and we took it every where, under the sad impression it was a jeep. We got all the way home one evening to realize it was missing, again. We got back in and drove up to the fairground, the last place we had been. We were driving slow, with our heads out the window, obviously looking for something. Phillip May saw us and pulled up along side, rolled down his window and asked "Hey what's up?"
My sister answered, "Phil, have you seen my tail pipe?"
With a look of shocked horror, and keen interest he exclaimed, "What kind of a kinky pick up line was that?!"

And that concludes my ode to Suzuki Samurais every where!! Keep track of your tail pipe!!

Friday, February 12, 2010

The Ugly Day

Today started out as a regular day. I exercised, played with Ella, cleaned up the house. Ella took her nap and I decided to get ready for the day. If I would have know the drama that followed I wouldn't have bothered. I decided to do my hair curly today. I don't very often and never when Brent is around. I put WAY TOO MUCH root boost in, resulting in a sick hybrid of greasy and stiff curls. I pulled it half up, to disguise the mess. But I teased the poof to tight and had a rat nest Master Splinter could have taken refuge in. Having finally got some amount of control over that, I was successful in getting make up on my face with out too much anxiety.
I then decided what to wear. I picked out a plain white t shirt, but it was too snug in all the wrong places. Four shirts, and 5 undershirts later, I finally had one that didn't make me look washed out, chubby or hippy. But then realized the hip problem was the fault of the pair of jeans I had on. So I changed those, only to discover my shoes didn't match anything. It took 5 different choices of jewelery to find the right set. Meanwhile, my moody hair is frizzy and getting greasier, from me pulling my shirt on and off. Does anyone else have this problem? Does anyone else have ugly days?
Finally I decide; why am I putting so much effort into a trip to Lin's!!! I take my purse and diaper bag out to the car. Oops, forgot the phone bills. Back to the house. Again get to the car. Oops forgot a med bill I have to mail. Back to the house, back to the car. Damn I forgot the mail keys!!! Back to the house, back to the car.
Feeling my blood pressure rising I get in the car. I back out of the garage. My windows are too dark to see out the back, so I always use my side mirrors. I never look behind me. I get all the way to the end of my street. (Approximately 100 yards) I am met with a small flow of Logandale traffic and decide this is a good time to put a little lips stick on. I flip down my visor and look into the mirror. I am greeted with the sight of an empty car seat.
I flip around as fast as I can, careening through a mud puddle and nearly squashing some one's weenie dog. I hit the garage door opener and race through the opening door. I run in the house, my heart in my throat, to find Ella laying on my bed, drinking her post nap bottle, watching the Olympics. Just where I left her.
Mother of the Year Award recipient right here.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Post Of Many Titles

FIRST: Does anyone else have this problem? Since I have moved into my home, over 6 months ago, I have YET to discover the use for THREE different switches in my house!! I flip them and look around, listen, look outside and I have no idea where they lead!
SECOND: My love hate relationship with my blinds. They are very expensive, very high quality blinds that came with my house.... but they're brown. I know they are nice and I am no way replacing such nice blinds just because the color isn't my favorite.... but they're brown. They do keep the sun out very well, and the heat for that matter.....but they're brown! On a positive note, they are MY blinds even if they are brown, I'm not renting them. Yippee!! At least in another 353 payments they'll be mine.

AND LAST: Behold; the face of pure evil. (Insert shiver here)

Friday, February 5, 2010

I'll Do It!!!!

I haven't ever let Ella try to feed herself. It results in to big of a mess. I'd rather just do it for her. But I think she has been watching her older and favorite cousin Jara, and has decided she needs to do it herself.
She has a hard time not turning to spoon or fork over. I think more ends up on the floor or crammed in booster seat cracks, or in her hair, than in her, but oh well. She has been especially psycho and so sweet I melt, lately. She just wants to cuddle and love all day! I love her.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

It's WAR!!!!

The Enemy: Parognathus Thomomys
Commonly now as: pocket gopher
Know to me as: Menace to my front yard

The Crime: Digging 5 holes up in my 5ft by 8ft yard in one night! Some how this vermin has managed to infiltrate over the boundary of regular gopher ism. He's a rogue and must be stopped.
The weapon: Gopher Bomb. I am considering putting his little furry head on a spike in my front yard, as a warning to all future gophers who may think they should take up residence in my grass. As of noon tomorrow, my friendly neighborhood pest control man, is going to SMOKE HIM TO DEATH!! MUWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
To any animal lovers out there; if you would like to come and relocate my enemy, feel free to try to catch him. But his execution is set for tomorrow, so act quickly.