Saturday, June 28, 2014

30 Years Old

Today I turned 30.
I'm not going to lie, it was hard to swallow.
I have dreaded this day for years!!
But I have been reassured by those who have gone on before me that 30 will be an awesome time in my life.
The ups and downs of the 20s are gone and a calm stability will arrive.
How can I say no to that!?
My mom and sister made a delicious lunch and both of them made me a cake!!
One of my favorite aunts came too and it made me so happy.
I love my family.
I don't get to see my aunts enough!!

 Ella, Jack and Jara building legos while they waited for lunch.
Ella is giving me her crazy eyes.
Such a great picture taker!!

 But how can I judge her when Brent and I are the least photogenic people in the world!!

 To mark the occasion of such a mile stone, I cut some bangs.
I like the ones Rashida Jones had on Parks and Rec in season 5.
I know, I'm very daring!!

This handsome little man couldn't make it.
He sent me a gift card so I could buy these!!

 My shoes color rainbow is complete!!
I now own a shoe in every color!!
Blue was the last one on the list!!
I have been building my collection for 5 years now!!

Brent got up early and sneaked off to the store to get me these.
I love balloons!!
I like them better than flowers!!
He gave me some gift cards, which I promptly used, and then he did the dishes.

I am so grateful today for all my friends and family. 
My wonderful sister watched my girls for TWO nights last week AND payed for Brent and I to stay for those 2 nights at the Casa Blanca.
It was so great to spend time with Brent and relax.
We ate way too many times, watched movies and laid my the pool.
I spent most of Wednesday at the Spa!!
I had a facial and a scalp massage.

Thank you to every one who thought of me.
I spent the rest of today on pain pills because I am so sore!!
Every inch of my body is sore, especially my jaw from the bite block and ventilator.
I have rested and counted my blessings.
It's been a great day!!

Friday, June 27, 2014

4 Doctors and 5 Years Later

In June of 2009 my regular OB discovered a uterine septum when I complained of mid cycle bleeding. 
I was referred to several specialists who did not help and really made me very discouraged.
My SIL recommended her doctor and I gathered all my bravery to go see him.
He was awesome!!
While I waited for him, I sat with fear wondering if I was going to be blown off again.
Or have to try the 4 first steps every doctor had made me go threw already.
Even though they had not worked.

He did not do that.
He listened.
He made suggestions.
We made a plan!!
The phrase that kept running threw my head the entire time I spoke to him was: "Keep it simple".

So here is a rough explanation of what is wrong with me!!
I will have you know this is the diagram the doctor drew me!!
Like I said, Keep it simple!!
Top left: this what a normal uterus looks like.
Top right: This is what ultra sounds and my c section made us THINK my uterus looked like.
A septate uterus.
Bottom left: What I REALLY look like.
I have a bicorniate uterus WITH a large septate that flares into a wedge at the bottom.
I was supposed to have it all surgically removed today, but when the doctor got in there he realize that the removal of so much tissue combined with the curvature of the bicorniate and the flare at the bottom was going to leave a large amount of scar tissue.
To the point where is would render me infertile.
When I had woke up from anesthesia, the doctor was astounded that I not only had ONE uterine malformation, but TWO!! 
He described it as finding a 2 headed snake in the forest!! 

He further was unable to describe his shock that I was not only able to have ONE  but TWO children.
He said the fact that I was able to have Ella vaginally was a one in a million chance.
He kindly counselled that if I wanted another child in the future, he knew some of the best infertility doctors in the Vegas Valley. And I believe him. He's at the top of his field and has excellent connections.
But you know what? I'm not worried about it. I am very happy and content with my 2 beautiful little miracle daughters.  We didn't have plans to add to our family any time soon and if we do, and can't, I won't be destroyed. Maybe a little disappointed.
To have proof of how blessed we have been and how we have repeatedly defied the odds, brings a great amount of comfort to my heart. How could I ever complain about what I DON'T have when what I DO have is amazing!?
I feel very blessed today. 

 Out of surgery.

 I told Brent if I came out babbling like a fool and claiming to be able to fly, and he recorded it.....I would kill him in his sleep. I was not kidding.
But I came out calmly and just fine!!

 I HATE IVS. If I never have another IV again in my life, it'll be too soon.
I feel so bad for those who have serious illness and have to wear these awful things around the clock.
What a way to add to discomfort and worry!!
I wanted to chew myself free!!

 Brent brought me present for when I woke up.

It's Stitch!! From Lilo and Stitch.
I saw this guy at the Disney store last summer and his arms were wide open and his crazy grin reminded me of Scarlet!! I just wanted to hug him!!
(If you notice, the window is blurred out. I had to come home and edit it because we happened to be parked next to a 'butt taxi" and Brent didn't realize it. If you are from Vegas, you will be familiar with what I'm talking about!!)

I have never forgot him.
So my wonderful husband remembered and went and got him for me to wake up to.

Brent has been wonderful and supportive in the year of 2014.
It has been a hard year and he has exceeded expectations in being sensitive and supportive.
He has truly been loving and caring and has held me up in some dark times.

I'll get into that all a different day!!
I'm actually thinking of starting another blog that shares all of the advice and wisdom of my new therapist and my experience at the 12 Step Program.
Let me know some feed back on that!!

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Pool Fun with Cousins!!

A perfect storm of new babies and missing husbands equaled to a fun cousin day!!
The Tingey and Marshall cousins met us at Logandale pool and we had a great day swimming!!
My girls fit in with these cousins.
They're all blonde!!

 Warming up and catching some sun.

 Scarlet had to join and be like the big girls and everyone else!!

 These floaties are the greatest thing ever invented.

We had a really good time!!
We are always looking for something to do on Saturday and cousins always make the best of friends!!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Random Fun!!

We have been looking for thing to do as the summer starts.
First we went and stayed over night with my brother in St. George.
I am VERY bad at remembering to take pictures!! 
These were the only ones I got!!

 We found these old fashion ride ons at Walmart.
My kids thought they were awesome!!

 Ella didn't even know who Dino was.
She just wanted to ride the dinosaurs.
She loves dinosaurs!!

 Scarlet was a little nervous until she realized the warthog barely moved.

 Then she was excited!!

 We've spent a lot of time at some pool somewhere!!
The Bolwers have a mini solid sided one that the girls frequent, and I have been very brave and gone to the public pools!!
This says a lot, as I do not like public pools or crowds.

 The back yard pool is not their favorite place, but after they decided to pretend to be crocodiles, it became a little more fun!!

All I've ever wanted was to lay in my own grass.
Under my own tree!!
We are 85% there!!
Grass is coming in nicely and I say a prayer of thanks for my tree every day!!

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Really good daddys.......

Really good daddys are hard to find. But I think I found one.

 Brent stood guard over  Scarlet's NICU crib.
He asked the questions that need to be asked when I was a total mess.

 He used big hands to pet tiny a baby.

He holds us all close when we need it. 

 He holds babies when I desperately need a nap.

He will take a turn walking around the house when no one is getting any sleep.

 He will  stay up late and help with feedings and crying.
He lets our resident feline co exist with him!!

 He holds hands and watches for cars.

 He rocks tired little girls to sleep.

 He lets them go for rides.

 He lets them snuggle anytime they want.

 He lets them torture him.

 He pushes them from awkward, bent positions.
Just because they are having so much fun.

He watches them sleep.
Because he didn't get to see them that day, and he misses them.

I have a wonderful husband, and he is an amazing father.
He tries very hard and is very patient with all the females that live with him.
Brent is my greatest blessing.
Happy Father's Day.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Painting: Part TWO: The Kitchen

It is not a secret that I have hated the kitchen from the day I laid eyes on it.
When we moved in we helped my parents paint the entire thing white because it sported some truly hideous wall paper that SCREAMED "Hello I am a trailer from 1993."
Which, indeed it is.
But we don't have to be so BLATANTLY obvious about it!!

After convincing Brent that painting the bathroom did not kill him after all, and promising him serious gifts for his birthday, he consented to help me tackle the kitchen!!
In fact, he got so motivated, he did the whole thing himself with only minor assistance from me!!

 Stove area before.

 Stove area after.
The cabinets are "cumulus" and the walls are "golden whisper"
I love them.

 Side counter and enormous cabinet bank.

I know it's not that big of deal, but it brings tears of joy to my eyes!!

 This dark dreary picture sums up my feeling about the over head cabinets on the bar.
I loath them.
Another shout of cheap and out dated!!
After begging my dad to tear them out, he delivered!!!
It wasn't a horrific mess like I thought it might end up being!!
One big cut across the support wall and 4 large screws from the cabinets.
A couple of tugs and those ugly things are now in the trash heap!!
Bar before.

Bar after.
Oh I am so happy.
Even better news is: we're ordering counter top next Thursday!!!
The last and finally ugly thorn in the kitchen's side will be those beauties.

Monday, June 2, 2014

School is Over

When I registered Ella for kindergarten, friends of mine who also had little girls, were lamenting how sad they were and how they had shed tears because their babies were getting so big so fast.
I, did not.
Not because I'm cold hearted or wouldn't miss her.
I was excited for her to start an exciting journey, to expand her horizons and develop herself!!
Now that kindergarten is 2 days from ending, I now have the tears.
I don't want Ella to grow up!!
Stop growing!!
Stay little!!
Next year she will be gone all day and spend more time out of my home than awake and with me.
She will be influenced more by her peers and teacher than me!!
It is hard for me to look forward to.

 They had their program today.
It was so cute!!
She did so good and sang her little heart out.
Last year when a few of my friends posted first day of school pictures versus last day of school, most of the pictures were startling!!
Their children had under gone such a drastic change!!

Ella didn't even grow!!
I put her in the same dress because I THOUGHT there would be marked differences!!
I don't think she even grew an inch!!
Oh well!! I guess that means this year's ward robe can carry over to next year!!