Monday, April 21, 2014

Happy Easter

 We had a very fun and very BUSY Easter!!
Spring break started with the fair and we had play date after play date!!
Swimming, park, friends houses.
I now need a vacation to recover!!

 Coloring eggs!!

 I make them wear their most worn out clothes!!

 It was Scarlet's first year to color!!
She also colored herself and the porch.

 Grandma helping the little girls find eggs.
We had FOUR egg hunts this year!!
I'm hunted out!!

 They were all so excited!!
Holidays are so much more happy with children.

 Jara on the hunt.

 The spoils!!

 Fairies everywhere!!

 These two fairies have joined forces against us!!
They've decided to be friends.
We're worried....

 Ella was a special fairy with upside down wings.

 Waiting on Easter morning for Mommy to see straight.

 Ella had little patience to wait for us!!
She tore off to Grandma's house at top speed!!

 Excellent egg finder!!

 Ella had to be slowed down and she had to leave the easy eggs for her sister!!

 When Scarlet didn't move fast enough, she helped!!

 Scarlet with her Palace Pet.

 Ella with hers!!
A tiger!!

 Grandma and Grandpa Bowler's house was our last egg hunt.
I have a serious surplus of plastic eggs!!

We had a great year!!
I can't believe there is only 6-7 weeks left of school!!
It was fun having Ella home.
We didn't have to worry about schedules or doing curly hair!!
I think I seriously saved on hairspray and mousse!!
I'm looking forward to summer and being able to plan fun things and spend time together.
Ella will go all day next year and it makes me sad.
I was totally fine with her starting kindergarten.
Didn't shed a tear or worry or feel sad.
But first grade makes me want to cry my eyes out!!

Sunday, April 13, 2014

I Miss My Husband

I am very proud of Brent.
He is a wonderful father.
He is a good husband.
He has a level of peacefulness and patience that I will never achieve.
He is just a truly kind person by nature.
He works a very stressful job that could have easily robbed him of his faith by now, but it hasn't.
He is very brave and smart and I trust him to be safe while he serves other people.

But sometimes it's hard.
He has worked a weekend shift for 3 years in a row now.
It's fine. We make it work nicely. We spend time together as a family during the week instead of the weekends. It all blends together nicely and we make it work.

But sometimes, Sundays are hard.
I go to church by myself.
That's fine.
My parents are there and they help out with the girls if I need it.
The girls are getting better and better at sitting still and staying quiet.
But sometimes, I am just tender hearted that Brent is not there.
I watch other couples, young and old, quietly converse.
Or smile at each other.
I watch husbands put their arms around their wives and she will rest her head against him for a moment.
We are there to renew our covenants with our Savior and our Heavenly Father.
And the space beside me is empty.
I'm not necessarily jealous of those people, but I just look at them and think how nice it would be!!
I would never want to deny someone else their happiness because I feel something missing. 
That's not fair.
I am not one who is prone to tears, but I feel them well up because it just doesn't seem right.

I, for not one moment, think that I have it worst.
No, not at all!!
There are plenty of women who do it every week, with more kids, or maybe with out a prospect that their husband might ever be next to them.  
My own mother went to church by her self for many many years before my dad joined the church.

I think of him more on Sundays than any other day he works.
He always crosses my mind but Sundays he's there throughout the entire day.

I am never afraid for Brent.
I've had other wives openly admit that they couldn't handle their husband being in law enforcement.
It would be too scary.
I am never afraid.
He's smart.
He's brave.
He's trained.
And he works with men that are also smart, brave and trained.
I trust them.

His job is very demanding.
It's stressful.
He sees the decay of society on a daily basis.
He can never relax at work.
He can't!!
Even on a slow day he has to be in an alert and ready mentality.
He handles it very well.

But sometimes it's hard.
Only 3 times in the last 7 years have I ever been worried about Brent.
Once, when his sergeant called me and I saw his name and number and thought for sure he was shot.
False alarm, he just needed some info!!
In all honesty, I am more worried about him wrecking his car on his way home than ever being injured on the job.
Second, when he was in an officer involved shooting and his job became very real.
Third, when I read a story about a family who lost their father. It wasn't even a law enforcement officer. It was a just a regular man. It just made me think about if regular men can die early, how much higher of a chance does he have?
But I can't think that way.
I feel like only being worried 3 times in 7 years is pretty good.
 I pray for him every day.
I think of him often. 
But Sundays, I think of him and pray for him the most.

I'm not sure what prompted me to write this post.
I am by no means complaining about his job, or regret it, or have any negative feelings about the profession he chose.
He chose wisely.
It fits him.
But sometimes, it's hard.

Maybe I was just feeling particularly homesick for him today. 
Maybe my daughters will need to read it one day.
Maybe someone else does.
Maybe I'm just getting more and more emotional as I age.
Regardless of any of those reason, I felt it needed to be written down.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Fair Time!!!

Fair time came around again and oddly enough, the weather was not miserable!!
It wasn't raining.
There were not gale force winds.
It was not snowing!!
It was, however, pretty warm!!

 By the end of day one, Scarlet was done with the whole affair and just wanted to sit and eat her corn cob!!

 Ella got to try her hand at fishing at the NDOW display and caught 2 fish!!

 Carousel fun!!
We met up with the Wheeler cousins and the kids had a blast!!
The adults were sun burnt and sweating like the proverbial pig!!

 Ella on her horse.

 Ella's an old pro at the kiddie rides.
This was Scarlet's first year and she LOVED it!!
I'm glad they can have fun with out being scared, but still have a little bit of healthy fear for the big rides.
When they decide they're ready for those, they are their Daddy's responsibility!!

 Ella begged with big eyes to PLEEEEEEASE try the bubbles.
Brent gave in and took her.
She declared we needed some for the back yard!!

 On Thursday I helped with Ella's class. I only had 2 extra little kids and they were very good.
They did not like this guy!!
They all looked like they were going to scream STRANGER and run for their lives!!

 Ella milking the cow.
I was surprised she wanted to try!! 
Sometimes she gets nervous and shy.

 Posing on the tractor wheel.

 We caught up to Jara's class and took her off Mrs. Barlow's hands!!
We're always up for a friend to join!!

 Scarlet wanted her picture too!!

 On the train ride.
If there were ever two cousins who didn't look alike, it's these two!!
It's fun for me to take them out together because people who don't know us will think they are both mine, or that Jara is mine and Ella is the cousin!!

 Scarlet is having an incredible amount of fun.
She wanted to ride the train so bad and was so excited when it finally came.
And this was the face she had while riding it.

 More rides!!
All four of them fit in this one!!

 Ella froze at the top of this slide, but Jack and Jara had already gone done so she couldn't bail out.
I think it's good for her to face simple fears like this to help build her confidence.
And to prove that things that seem really scary aren't that bad!!

We had to take a break after hours in the hot sun.
We went to the kids center they had set up and played all the FREE games.
Good grief I think I used up my life savings to buy DRINKS!! 
I also think the amount I spent on Gyros was enough for a mortgage payment.

They happily played and when it was over Brent and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Fun is exhausting!!

Thursday, April 10, 2014

We went for the sand. We stayed for the puddle.

We decided to take advantage of the warm weather we've been having and headed to the sand pit at the church. My intentions were to break in our new sand buckets....
The sprinklers had just ran and they must have some drainage issues, because this big puddle formed.

 My children could not help themselves!!

 They love the water so much!! 
Ella tells me all the time that she NEVER wants to live anywhere cold. She wants to be able to swim all year!!

 What started as just putting their toes in, turned into rolling in the water.

 Which led to rolling in the sand.

Which led to the necessary removal of clothing!!

The nice warm sun wore them out.

I can't believe April is here!! This week is the Fair and next week is Spring break.
After that there is only a few more weeks until school is over and then BAM!! 
I swear we just had Christmas!!

Monday, April 7, 2014

Already April

The year of 2014 has started out rough!! 
SOMEONE learned to escape her crib and has upset the delicate sleep balance in our home. We have a mild amount of control over it!!
 She wakes up before the sun and has the above look on her face. Totally zoned out and NOT ready to wake up!!

 It was my Dad's birthday so we were provided with fun and food!!
A good thing to look forward to in what I have lovingly named 
"The Year of Anxiety"

 All the cousins had fun with balloons!!

 Scarlet and Elise took some time out to eat their popsicles away from the group.
I swear sometimes they seem so disgusted with us.
Like they are the only voice of reason!!

 Big cousin fun!!

 Scarlet came out of my Dad's office with his hat and crocs on and declared,
"I'm Grandpa!!"

 I had a GOPHER invade my flower bed!!
I flushed him out with the garden hose but when it came time to bash him with a shovel, I just couldn't do it.
So I trapped him under a tupperware bowl until Brent could relocate him!!

 17 bags of cow shit!!
I feel like it is just ridiculous I have to PAY for the fecal matter of bovine!!

 Brent and Ella seeded the back yard on Friday.
I am hoping, praying and watering with all my heart!!
I want a yard so bad!!

I am grateful for a patient husband who always lets his daughters 'help'.