First: My Auntie Katie told me about a movie she watched as a girl that scared her to pieces. It was about a disembodied hand that strangled people. The scariest scene in the movie was when a lady is driving down the road and the hand springs up from behind the seat, grabs her by the throat and strangles her. Okay, keep this in mind as I tell this story.
I inadvertently left a bottle of milk in my truck that Ella had drank, and unfortunately forgot about it. It rolled beneath the seat and the only reason I found it is because I FOLLOWED THE STENCH. Not good. So I have been trying to keep the windows rolled down a smidge so I could air things out a bit. I went to my Tuesday night Zumba class, and thought the cool night air would help alleviate the odor of rancid milk permeating from my truck. There was middle school basketball this evening and all the mommies picking up their children had taken up all the good parking spots, so I parked next to the dumpster at the middle school. No big deal....or so it seemed!!!
Zumba ended and I am hobbled out to my truck. Usually I am very vigilant about checking my Tahoe for serial killers and ax murders before I get in. I have a big back seat, and a large cargo area that any psycho path could comfortably curl up in. Alas, I did not check. Anything.
So I am driving down the street and I keep thinking I can hear rustling of some sort. I glance over my shoulder and check my review mirror. Nothing. I routinely leave packs of water bottles and grocery bags in the cargo area. And I have the stroller back there. I'm listening to music, still kind of pump from my work out. I get about a mile away from the gym and SOME UNKNOWN CREATURE LEAPS ONTO THE HEAD REST OF MY PASSENGER SEAT!! (Now think back to the story I started with) I scream like a chick in a slasher film and swerve erratically all over the road. I then seriously attempt to bail out of the vehicle. I open the door and try to jump. My seat belt saves my foolish life. I screech to a halt, probably doing lasting damage to my brake pads and fall out of my door. I succeed in fleeing my truck, scrambling across the asphalt, all the while screaming at the top of my lungs, because I am CONVINCED that either a disembodied hand or the DEVIL is in my truck!! My heart feels like it is about two beats away from exploding and I have never felt adrenaline surge through me like I have at this moment. I probably broke the sound barrier with the speed in which I raced down the street. I turn mid stride to see if the hand or devil is after me and see a dark colored CAT SPRING FROM MY CAR.
It is puffed out, its tail held in the air. And hauling... you know what.... down the street because it probably thinks I am the devil or some other form of screeching banshee.
As my heart returns to normal pace. I walk back to my running car, the radio blaring, the door wide open. I check for any other freaking felines lurking in the bowels of my Tahoe. I get behind the wheel and drive home. I am glad I didn't run over someone on an evening walk or plow into another car. Or a house for that matter!! I also called that cat all the bad names I could think of and then I made some up.
Moral of the story? DO NOT leave your windows down with out checking if someone or something is hiding in your car. Because it will scare the $#@& out of you and you may never be the same. As I am sure I will never be the same!!!
In hind site, this story is humorous. At the time it WAS NOT.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
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4 comments:
I'm sure its funny now, right??! Great narrative. I can totally picture the whole thing!!!
Its even funnier in print. great descriptive details. bowels of the tahoe hahaha
oh man girl...pretty funny but i get so freaked out by animals, mostly when they leap.... ha ha
Tehehehehehehehehe....Hahahahahaha..... Ashley you do know how to tell a story that will make you laugh your you know what off.
ToOdLeS.
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