A Day At The Zoo!!

This is what Scarlet thought of the zoo. This is her "this place is loud and stinky and I don't know why you make me go out in public" face. Scarlet HATES being in public. She is VERY noise sensitive. That's lots of fun!!

Do not approach an emu.

The bird surely does esteem you

It wields a quick and wicked kick

That is sure to cream you

Or bite you!! Ella so sweetly offered the emu a baby carrot. It mistook her finger for more carrot. She was so brave and didn't cry at all. She just held her finger and calmly walked away. I think she was embarrassed that her uncle and cousins saw the bird bite her. I took her out to the car and when she saw the blood she finally let a few tears go. Thankfully I have athletic tape in the car so we fixed her right up!!

Cutest pig ever!! I want one of these for a pet!! It even wagged its little tail!!

Ella was VERY excited to see the zebra. It's her favorite animal. Too bad that annoying boy pictured kept stepping in front of her to feed it. I was about to tell him to go feed the donkey when his very charming father dragged him off and apologized to Ella for his son's rudeness. So glad there are still parents out there who do something when their kid is annoying!!

Ella wanted to stand and watch the otters all day. She loved them and asked if we could have one. There is a monkey climbing up the post in front of her that she thought was funny.

I felt bad for her bird bite so we bought her a stuffed 6 ft rattle snake with purple and black stripes. She asked me what kind of snake it was and I told her a rattlesnake. I shook his tail so she could hear the rattle.

She looked at me skeptically and scoffed, "This isn't a rattlesnake. It doesn't have diamonds on it."

Glad we read her the "Desert Animals" book that included a diamond back rattlers!! She can be so literal!!

I Think Too Much

Being in my child bearing years, I am constantly surrounded by women who have just given birth, are about to give birth or who are contemplating when to next give birth. A few of my friends are all finished and some have just begun. It makes me wonder what catagory I belong in. Am I all finished or have I just begun?

Ella was an extremly hard baby. She had reflux so bad she would cry any minute she was awake and not being held upright. She didn't sleep and ate poorly. When she finally made it to a year life got a little better. She's good now, she's just a very energetic little thing!

Scarlet's birth and the first month of her life was tramatizing. When she was still sitting in the NICU with no end in sight, the phrase I hated the most was, "Oh my baby was there for only a few hours, and I just about died!!" Really? You just about died? That is almost exactly what I'm going through!! Thanks for the sympathy! (Insert sarcasm here.) Or even better were the people who tried to make my experience all about them. "I had Braxton Hicks at 36 weeks and rushed to the doctor cuz I heard about what happened with you and I was so scared!!" That's terrible. I'm so sorry you were in such danger. (More sarcasm)

Scarlet is a few days away from 6 months now and the lingering question of "when, where, if" of another child lurks in the shadows of my mind. I think it does for every women. I think any women who can still physically have children has that shadow whispering questions to her.

Scarlet went to the urologist on Friday. She was supposed to have a catheter inserted, and dye ran through her bladder to see if her kidneys were refluxing urine back into them. Her parts down there are all messed up from her problems at birth and after an hour of her screaming her head off they were unable to do the test because they couldn't get the catheter in. She got so upset and it hurt so badly she vomitted for hours. Saturday morning she woke up with blood in her urine and it's still happening. Tomorrow we are back to the urologist to see what's going on.

I wonder who I sue? The doctor for not making sure the team doing the tests knew what was going on? Or the team for doing such a poor job?

So back to my original question. Do I want another child? Do I want to do this again? At this point. And at this time.

No.

Because never in my life have I know such fear, and stress, and heartache.

*And for the love of all that is good and holy DO NOT tell me God has a plan for me. I have about had it with that phrase too.

Don't Look At Me....I'm Hideous!!

After both of my children my hair has fallen out. And I go BALD. See all those little sprouts? Picture that completely hairless!! It looks so bad!!

This disgusting disfigurement is from having a wart removed. It sprung up around Thanksgiving and grew to the size of a pencil eraser. I associate warts with dirty, unhygienic people so I was horrified of its presence! I'm happy it's gone but what a hole!!

I have to wear tall socks when I go running now, so the back of the shoe doesn't rub on my gaping wound. I usually wear very tight athletic/ compression socks to support my flat feet. The regular socks rubbed a giant blister on my instep. I covered it with bandages and it healed nicely. Well, I ran out of the nice, extra sticky band aids and used a couple small ones and some athletic tape. Wrong choice. This mother huuuuurts so bad. It burns. As I was headed toward home this morning my foot felt like it was on fire and I knew what was waiting inside my sock when I got home!

Note* Does anyone know where my title came from?

Pre School!!!

Ella started preschool on Tuesday. I'm a bad mother and did not get a picture of her on that day. So we took one today!! Ella LOVES preschool. She asks to go every morning, and on the days she gets to, she is super excited all morning long.

I admit, last fall I was nervous to send her. She was behaving shy around kids she didn't know and always wanted to stick to my side. When January rolled around I took her to Sunbeams and she loved it!! She HATED nursery. Ella thrives on structure and 22 kids who come regularly to Logandale 5th ward, all crammed into one tiny room, mostly boys, was not her cup of tea!! She liked sunbeams so much I enrolled her in preschool. She is gone 2 hours a day, two days a week. I am so happy for her!! She is expanding her boundaries and enjoying herself and LEARNING!! I also have 2 hours to try to get as much done as fast as I can with out "help"! Ella is a wonderful helper, but dishes take twice as long when she assists!

The Cynical Observations of My Own Inadequacies

I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. This is a religion I love. I believe with
all my heart in its principles and teachings. The gospel itself has never made me feel inadequate, or self-conscious. The church itself is perfect and ordained of God. It is the members that I am going to mock!! Good naturally, of course.
If you are a Mormon woman, these are the pressures you may face amongst your peers!!
Wake up for 5 am scripture study. With a delighted smile on your face of course!
Make a nutritious breakfast for all 7 of your children.
Happily send said children to school to excel in all areas, because you spend hours a day pouring
over their homework with them to make sure they are up to speed.
Clean your house spotless. Using the all-natural cleansers you made yourself.
Bake a homemade birthday cake for little Billy. Don’t you DARE use a box!! Shame!! That thing
better be from scratch. Bake it while wearing the designer apron you handmade yourself. You also made 15 others to give out as Christmas gifts last year.
Frost the cake with frosting, also from scratch. Heck!! You dyed it blue with
the blueberries from your garden!!
Run around 5 miles to keep your body fit and your mind sharp. Besides, that marathon you’re running for charity is right around the corner!!
Go to the school for room mother duties. Billy’s class loved the cake!! How could they not? It was 4 tiers and in the shape in a truck, wasn’t it!!
Begin preparations for a gourmet dinner. With the vegetables you raise in your garden, and the organic meat you won in the Boy Scout raffle.
Feed your family on an immaculate table with the placemats you loomed yourself. From the yarn you spun yourself. From your very own sheep.
Plan a flawless family home evening complete with an inspiring message that made every one of your children thank you for being such a great mom. They are off the bed pondering
the deep meanings of your lesson.
Finish up the marching band uniforms you offered to custom sew. All 50 are all finished!!
Slip into bed next toyour husband who could pass as a Calvin Klein model. He can plumb your house, fix your electricity, tune up the car and mow the yard all in one day. He’s also 1st counselor in the Stake Young Men’s. But it’s ok he’s never home to help with children because that’s YOUR job anyway!!
Kiss him goodnight as the sign above your bed instructs. Smile lovingly and tell him your big news. Yep!! We’re pregnant again!! Number 8!! He’s delighted that you are procreating
the Earth!!
Better get to sleep now. 5 am comes soon. But first feel a euphoric rush of completion of how
PERFECT your life is and how your children complete you and even when they are screaming, you recognize it as a lesson to be learned. Because they were sentJUST TO YOU and they are special spirits!!
Contented sigh…….