Counter Tops!!

My kitchen is actually pretty big in size for the square footage of our house.

I am VERY grateful for this!!

But unfortunately it was very ugly.

The original cabinets and HIDEOUS counters.

I have been gunning for these horrible things for over a year now!!

 Newly painted cabinets and new counter tops!!

This sight makes me more happy than words can describe!!

More old ugliness!!

 Finished product!!

 We changed the back splash on this bank of cabinets and we're going to carry it behind the sink too.

The back splash is the same as the counters on this set of drawers, but I'm going to change it to match the rest of the kitchen.

I like sameness!!

It would drive me crazy!!

I'm so glad it is all done and so thankful for Brent's help!!

I'm so excited to see things looking so pretty!!

On The Ragged Edge

My friend Wendy recently had to give a talk on her pioneer heritage and was talking about the books she had read to prepare for it.

She mentioned the book 'The Ragged Edge" which about the life and times of Dudley Leavitt.

I am a descendant of Dudley and my mom has long owned the book, which she inherited from HER mother.

But I had never read it!!

So I borrowed it from her and devoured it in one day. 

It was amazing to read about the resolve and determination of these people.

I am amazed by the level of their faith and perseverance.

Their trust in God is a perfect example to me. 

They never doubted their faith, their God, or each other.

With all the trials and work they went through, it makes me wonder how I can dare complain about my life.

It made me feel so close to my family.

I felt like I remembered them.

I discovered I descend from Dudley's 3rd wife Thirza.

Her daughter, also named Thirza, married her first cousin Orange Leavitt.

They had Alma Decator Leavit, who is my grandfather's father.

I have had the pull to work in genealogy for awhile now but all of my anxiety makes me nervous to even sit down in front of a computer and try to figure it out. 

I'm not even worried about finding my own ancestors, I would like to just add to the many hands who endlessly index.

I am glad I read this book.

I appreciate all that I have a lot more now.

First and foremost, AIR CONDITIONING.

Food I don't have to grow, and if it doesn't grow, my family might starve.

Modern medicine.

Monogamous marriage!!

Education.

The gospel is opening accepted and I can have my faith with out fear.

What amazing people the pioneers were!!

Happy Birthday Brent

Tough Mudder 2014

Today is Brent's birthday.

I want to take a moment to compliment him.

Brent is steadfast and stalwart.

He is patient and kind.

He is helpful.

He is calm and reassuring.

He loves me despite everything I am and he is a GOOD father.

I love him so much and I am so grateful I have him.

I am not ready to blog about the anxiety I have been crippled by this year.

But let's say it has been INTENSE.

A lesser man would not have tolerated all the upheaval that has been this year and walked away in disgust months ago.

My wonderful husband has stood by my side, held my hand, and blessed me with his priesthood many times.

Thank you Brent.

Thank you for being the wonderful man that you are.

Thank you for loving me and your daughters with out expectations.

You are amazing and I am so glad you are my eternal companion.

Vitamins

In my goal to strengthen my mental health, I researched about all the different vitamins a person who is struggling with depression /anxiety might need.

Out of the suggestions, I decided on these.

They have in no way cured me, but I have noticed a difference in my body chemistry!!

From left to right:

The small white circle- B6- promotes energy and cognitive function

The pink circle- B12- support metabolism and also promotes energy

Giant white oval- Magnesium/calcium/zinc- supports bones muscles and nerves

2 tan ovals- Biotin- solely for hair, skin and nails. And it works!! My nails grow fast and my hair is thick and strong!! I am totally sold on this stuff!!

Dark red oval- cranberry- urinary tract 

Dark green circle- Iron- blood health

Dark pink oval- prenatal vitamin- no I'm not pregnant or getting pregnant. They are the only multi vitamin that doesn't make me sick.

I have been on these for about 2 years. I will randomly run out and then forget them for a week or two or three. But then my nails break and my hair looks dry and I correct myself fast!!

Just recently I ran out of several of them all at the same time, and it gets pricey when I have to get a bunch at a time!!

I went almost 3 weeks forgetting them and before I knew it, my nails were splintering away!!

So far these have worked for me.

It is quite the handful but I'm getting really good at taking multiples at once!!

I am open to any suggestions that have worked for you!!

Ella turns 6!!

I can't believe my baby is 6!!

She is getting so big so fast and I'm in denial!!

We had a great day having a friend party!!

 Since Easter Ella has been talking about her birthday.

And I'm sure any day now she'll be getting excited about Halloween.

She loves her holidays and is always VERY excited for the next one!!

She requested a water party and we did our best to deliver!!

 We had 2 kiddie pools!!

Both equipped with a slide!!

 And the swing set.

 We put the hose under the trampoline and at one point ON it!!

They loved that!!

 We had to cut the cake so EVERYONE got a piece of rainbow!!

 I am pleased with who Ella has chosen as friends.

They are all good little girls from good families.

I constantly remind her that the most important thing to look for in a friend is kindness!!

 They were all polite and very generous!!

I have a lot of new toys in my play room!!

 We decided to have all of our fun in my parent's back yard.

It is beautiful and huge and has all the amenities!!

Porch, patio, grass, trees and all the toys!!

My mom lovingly nurtures her flowers and my dad takes his landscaping roots very seriously!!

Scarlet did pretty good.

She was the slide tyrant at one time but we defused it quickly.

One of the little girls looked up at me with huge eyes as Scarlet's tantrum surged and said "I think she's upset."

I told her "I know. Sometimes she forgets how to share."

The little girls replied knowingly "It's ok. I have a little sister too." 

Thank you to everyone who came!!

I felt very blessed to have so many little girls come to celebrate with my daughter.

Closure and Visuals

At the beginning of the year I almost gave up on my blog.

But then I browsed through it one evening and was reminded of things I had forgot had ever happened!!

I made a goal to make sure I posted as often as I could so I would have memories preserved.

Even if they were mundane.

Because essentially this blog is for ME.

 

I had my surgery on June 27th.

I was VERY anxious and I had Brent give me a blessing of comfort.

In that blessing I was promised that I would have answers.

I have been wracked with indecision whether or not to have another child for over a year.

Maybe even longer than that.

But I can put an exact date on when it began to consume my mind.

May 7, 2013

Every day I have been tormented with indecision.

I knew as I was wheeled back to the O.R. that I would leave there with answers.

 

As anesthesia cleared from my brain, my doctor approached me and gave me all the information he had obtained.

He directly asked me if I wanted more children.

I shrugged and told him I didn't think so.

He nodded and commented "Good. It's dangerous."

And I had my answer.

I felt it.

I think I knew it all along but was in denial.

I was relieved with the answer.

A little disappointed. 

But relieved.

But I also felt guilty.

I'm Mormon!!

I'm supposed to procreate and replenish the Earth!!

I'm supposed to have 8 kids!!

And actually, I WANTED a big family.

Even when I felt closure and peace, I would bring up guilt.

I'm a Mormon woman!! I should want a whole house full of children!!

My therapist and I discussed it length today.

And I have decided to let that go.

 

I have two beautiful daughters.

I don't need more children than I can handle. Or safely have. Or afford!!

It would be ungrateful to the Lord to be unsatisfied.

I am making the choice to not feel guilty.

And really, it can be that easy.

I am choosing to apply myself to make it so!!

 

 

 

My uterine malformation is center row on the left side.

My babies are miracles.

I am making the choice to be positive.

I can do it!!

It is a choice and if I have to make a constant, consistent effort, I will prevail.

I love my girls. They are blessings and miracles.

Saying that doesn't take much effort.

 

Zumba!!

Ella was old enough to do Zumba this year and she loved it!!

 She did pretty good staying with the other kids even if she looked as serious as a preacher.

 She loves dancing and always wants music on at home. I think we'll do ballet this fall.

 She likes to have her own space, as seen here!!

 I'm glad she had such a good time!!

Watching her today made me miss my own Zumba class!! 

Final group hug!!

Annie did a great job!!

Dance is truly her element!!

Desperate Times

It is no secret I hate the heat.

As the summer approaches its zenith, I feel adequately prepared.

But it's still just not enough for someone who HATES THE HEAT!!!

In a fit of insomnia the other night, I curled up on the floor next to my bed.

I realized the lower I was, the cooler it is!!

AND my AC window unit hit me directly!!

So after a little convincing, Brent graciously agreed to sleeping on floor.....

next to our bed...... for a period of time!!
He's so kind to me.

I'm glad he indulges my madness.

Water Fun

Here in the desert if you want to go out doors, you better have an activity that involves water!!

Or you will die.

I am not exaggerating.

I truly believe there should be government funding for each and every person in Clark County to have a POOL!!

 We do not have a pool.

So we get creative!!

My mom and dad went on vacation and I was in charge of watering her 1000 some odd plants while she was away.

 While the cat's away!!

We dragged the tramp onto a grassy area and got cooled off!!

 We swim in our back yard every day.

Every.

Day.

 The missing grand parents also donating a spare pool. :)

We go to the dollar store and get 'animal capsules'  that 'grow' in water.

It's just better all around if each girl has her own pool for this!!

 Both of them are brown little indian girls!!

We even pulled out the slide!!

In all honesty this summer has not been as awful as it could be.

I think our highest temperature has only been 119 so far!!

Practically an arctic front!!

I hate summer.

I'm trying.

But I really, really hate the heat.

4th of July!!

We had a great day celebrating our Independence Day!! 

Brent woke up feeling very patriotic and was not satisfied with having nothing to do.

He called his brother and that snowballed into more brothers and sister and his parents were home earlier from vacation than we thought.

We all met together and ate food and had other people to talk to than ourselves!!

It was a great day!!

The girls went swimming and had cousins to play with.

 Ella has been a 4th of July trooper from the beginning. We were thinking back to all our summers since she was born and we have dragged her out to every fire works display since she was just a week shy of a year old!!

 However!!!

This was Scarlet's FIRST year!!!

She is very sensitive and hates loud noises, people and exceeding her bedtime by more than 10 minutes. 

Brent has worked nights for the last 6 years.

I would send Ella with her Wheeler cousins and stay home while Scarlet went to sleep.

I'd usually stand on the back porch and watch the fireworks from a distance.

I was curious to see how she acted!!

The first explosion went up and her eyes got really big.

She brought her blanket all the way up to her eyes and peered suspiciously at the next to blast across the sky.

Then she quietly whispered, "I want to go home now."

I pulled her onto my lap and she sat there contently for the rest of the show.

About half way into it she decided it wasn't too bad and oohed and awwed and commented on loudness and size.

 Brent is so good at picture taking!!

I think the flash blinded him.

But this is the only few pictures I got so they need to be preserved.

 We went to the elementary school play ground and it was perfect.

The sprinklers were on in the distance, creating a light, cooling mist quality.

The wind was blowing just enough to keep us cool but not too hard to be a nuisance.

It was dark and peaceful and the fireworks were beautiful. 

 The fireworks always brings tears to my eyes.

The patriotic music.

It's so nostalgic.

It reminds me of all the good memories I've ever had and it helps me remember of all my many blessings. 

 I am grateful for the country I live in.

I'm a little disappointed in its current state, but I'm hoping it improves.

But it is my freedom that allows me to say that!!

I am grateful for those who serve and gives their lives to keep me safe.

God Bless America!!